


Head Over Heels

by Kaguya



Category: Persona 4
Genre: Alcohol, Drug Use, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-15
Updated: 2013-08-01
Packaged: 2017-12-15 02:47:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,235
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/844438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaguya/pseuds/Kaguya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...but I never, ever forget that I love you very much."</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (EDIT: im going through old fics and editing things (mostly notes) so if youve already read this and notice something different, this is why)  
> another Naoto/Kanji fic, rated M, but the most mature it'll get is a wet dream. in this fic, Kanji uses drugs and alcohol as well, so if either of those is a big "no" for you, this is just a warning

"Aw, c'mon Naoto-kun. It'll be fun!"

"I'm sorry, Rise-san, but I don't even have anyone to go with. If I came along with you and Souji-senpai, I'd just be a third wheel," Naoto apologized. Though, even if she did have someone to go along with, she still would have found some other excuse to not go with Rise and Souji on their date to the movies.

"Ooh, what what? Who's going on a date where?"

Naoto wanted to groan and pound her face on the table. She saw Chie and Yukiko making their way towards the table Rise and herself were sitting at. "Is someone going on a date?" The shorter brunette continued after setting her grocery bags on the table. Yukiko set her bags on the table as well, not long after Chie set hers. The taller second-year quietly waved at Rise, who quickly and quietly waved back with one of her "idol grins," and then turned towards Naoto and gave a silent nod of acknowledgement and hello, which Naoto returned as well.

"Is it Naoto-kun?" Chie asked excitedly.

Rise let out a sigh. "No," she responded. "It's Senpai and I who are gonna see a movie." She then turned to Naoto, who turned away to avoid making eye contact with the obviously disappointed idol. "I asked Naoto-kun to come, but she said that she didn't wanna be a third wheel."

Chie shrugged. "Well," she started, grabbing a seat from the side of the table. Yukiko came around to the other side of the table to take another seat. "I can kinda see where you're coming from, Naoto. I definitely wouldn't wanna be a third wheel either."

"But we could make it a double date!" Rise interrupted. Now Naoto really wanted to bang her head on the table. There was no way she was going to be able to get a date, not that she even wanted to or anything.

Yukiko snorted. "A double date?"

"Yeah!" the idol defended. "She could go with Kanji!" The black-haired teen gave a louder snort and began laughing. Her? With Kanji? Naoto began to blush, she didn't know why, though.

"Me? With Kanji-kun?" Naoto blurted out, becoming even redder. No, there was no way that could happen. Just the idea of her going on a date with anybody seemed impossible. Naoto wondered if Rise could even hear the things that came out of her mouth sometimes. "I highly doubt that would work out."

"Kanji, huh?" Chie said. Naoto began to blush even harder after the mention of the person she was being paired up with. She just wanted everybody to stop thinking about the general idea altogether. "Funny thing is," she started, "that could actually, probably work out."

Naoto pounded her hand against her forehead. She knew for a fact that she was really, really red at the moment. "Can we please stop with the discussion of this subject? Besides, do you really think Kanji-kun would say 'yes' to me?"

"Well, yeah," Rise said bluntly.

Naoto looked back at her with a raised eyebrow. "Have you even seen Kanji-kun around me?" Naoto asked. Chie and Yukiko looked over at her. "Because I haven't. He always leaves the moment I walk into the room."

"Y'know, that's actually becau--," Yukiko was cut off by an elbow in the rib from Rise.

Naoto gave the two a look and subsequently continued defending the reasons as to why she shouldn't go with Rise on her "double date." 

"And even when we ARE in the same room, by some miracle, he never speaks to me, or even looks at me for that matter!"

"Jeez," Chie started. "You really have no clue, do you?"

What? "What? No clue of what? No clue of Kanji obviously not wanting to try to become friends with me?" Naoto was just about done with trying to convince the rest of the girls to let her go.

The second-year brunette let out a sigh. "So much for an ace detective, huh?" Yukiko let out a giggle, still rubbing the area where Rise's elbow had made contact with. Naoto raised an eyebrow at Chie's statement, but soon decided to shake it off. "Well, uh," started Chie again. "I guess Yukiko and I gotta jet. We still have to drop these things off at your inn, right?"

"Hm?" replied Yukiko, seeming to not know what Chie just said. "Oh," after a streak of realization. "Oh, yeah. We gotta go. See you guys later!" The two second-years stood up and grabbed the bags which they had left on the table. Yukiko gave a wave of goodbye to Rise, who then waved back, and gave another nod to the now stranded Naoto, who gave a nod back, not knowing if she would have wanted them to stay and ridicule her longer, or leave her alone with Rise.

"So...," Rise continued after the two left.

"No," quickly retorted Naoto. She promptly stood up, gave Rise one last nod of goodbye, and left. The detective could hear the idol's pleads as she left the Junes food court.


	2. Chapter 2

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid it'll take about a week to fix the piping in this unit."

"A week?"

"Er, yeah. You'll have to find somewhere else to stay for the time being."

"..."

"..."

"Are you saying there aren't any other open units available to me?"

"Er, no. Sorry."

"..."

"But, hey, don't worry. You won't have to pay for the week you won't be here!"

"..."

"Yeah, we're... We're terribly sorry about this, uh... ma'am?

"..."

"... No... Wait.... Sir?"

"..."

"Ma'am? No, wait, sir, I think... actually, wait... Ma'am?"

"..."

"Actually, you know what? Sir. Yeah. Sir."

"..."

"... Ma'am?"


	3. Chapter 3

 

"Yeah, er, just make yourself at home or something."

"Thank you, Kanji-kun."

"It's no problem."

"Oh, tell your mother I said thank you as well."

"Yeah."

Naoto set her bags down in her temporary living quarters: the guest room of the Tatsumi residence. It was a small room, consisting of a wardrobe, a desk, a couple of nightstands, a television, a small sofa, coffee table, and, strangely enough, a western bed. It had been a while since Naoto had slept in one, the last time being during an overseas trip to the United States. There was a small trace of the scent of clean laundry as well.

"If you need anything, just, uh, don't be afraid to ask," Kanji mumbled, raising a hand to the back of his head while eyeing the back of Naoto's not quite bare heels. Her jeans were a bit too long for someone her height, which made them come over her heels whenever she wasn't wearing shoes.

"Mhm," the detective nodded, still looking around her new room.

"Oh, yeah," Kanji added, "Ma's not gonna be here for a few days this week, including today, or actually, uh, she's just gonna come home real late. There's this weird tailoring event thing goin' on somewhere else, er, I don't really know the details, so, uh..." Kanji hesitated, thinking of some right way to say whatever it was he was going to say. "...it's just gonna be you and, uh, me for those few days... Including today."

"Oh," Naoto replied. Well, she thought, this isn't going to be awkward at all. She then cursed whatever higher being there was for putting her in such a situation, then cursed Rise for not letting her stay with her unless Kanji said that he couldn't. Kanji, of course, was hesitant to say yes, but his mother had also been a part of that conversation as well, resulting in a full agreement. Mrs. Tatsumi said that she would have appreciated another girl around the house and that, possibly, some of Naoto's good attitude would rub off on Kanji during her stay. She then said that that last comment was a joke, or at least part of it was.

"So, uh, if you get hungry or anything, I can just whip something up in the kitchen, or, er, we can eat out if you wanna." Kanji began getting flustered. "I mean, I ain't that great of a cook or anything, but if you don't wanna eat out, that's fine." He cursed under his breath. Naoto could tell that this was awkward for Kanji as well. "I'll-- uh, I'll just be in my room if you need me."

"Oh, alright then."

"Uh, yeah," Kanji finished awkwardly. "Bye." The other first-year then awkwardly and quickly made his way down the hall and into his room, where Naoto afterward heard a bang from the closing of his door.

The detective took her bags and set them in a corner of the room, closing her own door as well on the way. She made her way over onto the couch and sat down, finally getting to relax after a long day, though, the relaxation wasn't long.

There was a sudden vibration in one of Naoto's pants pockets. She shifted herself over to the side and then grabbed her phone.

>  
> 
> _One Message:_
> 
> _Rise Kujikawa_

Naoto groaned. Now wasn't the time for any of this, she complained to herself. Still, after years of polite etiquette training, she read whatever it was Rise just had to say to her.

>  
> 
> [17:49] Rise Kujikawa: so, how's it like living w/ kanji now??? ~-~
> 
> [17:50] Naoto Shirogane: I just got here. I don't think I can answer your question.
> 
> [17:50] Rise Kujikawa: awww, c'mon naoto-kun!! don't be like that!!! i'll bet u 3 steak croquettes that kanji'll confess his love 2 u b4 the week is over ^-~
> 
> [17:50] Naoto Shirogane: What?
> 
> [17:50] Rise Kujikawa: wat?
> 
> [17:51] Naoto Shirogane: You just said that Kanji-kun would "confess his love to me." What are you trying to say?
> 
> [17:52] Rise Kujikawa: uhh, haha naoto!! just ignore it, just me bein me, u kno...
> 
> [17:52] Naoto Shirogane: ...
> 
> [17:52] Naoto Shirogane: Are you implying that Kanji-kun has a crush on me?

Naoto waited for a little longer for a reply from Rise, but it was apparent that she wasn't going to text back after the second minute or so. The detective let out a sigh and let her head fall back onto the couch. 

Kanji? Having a crush on her? It was possible, she thought. But still, if he was to have a crush on her, then why would he avoid contact with her? If anything, he should at least be trying to become friends with her. I mean, how hard could it be? There wasn't anything intimidating about her, was there? They were in the same grade, both first years, they both had the same friends, and they both had personas, not forgetting the entire deal with saving the city, and possibly even the world together.

The only thing that would put people off, she guessed, was that she was one of the youngest detectives out there, an ace detective, to be exact. And that she disguised as a male for a large fraction of her life. But those two reasons were virtually nothing compared to the others, she thought.

After a few more seconds of thinking, Naoto gave one last sigh and decided to not let it linger in her mind any longer. She sat there, staring up at the ceiling with nothing in particular coming to mind. The thought of school tomorrow made its way into her mind soon after. She sighed again, realizing that Rise must have told all of their friends about her temporary moving in with Kanji. If there was one thing Naoto could pull off without it being illegal, it would most likely be the murder of Rise Kujikawa. 

The detective's train of thought was interrupted by a loud bang in the hallway. "Shit," she could hear Kanji mutter. She stood up and walked to her door cracking it ajar to see what the loud noise was about. 

The bleached-blonde teen was bent over, picking up piles of clothing and fabric strewn across the hall. "Kanji-kun?" Naoto started. Kanji stopped what he was doing and looked up at her. "Do you need hel--"

"No, no. It's fine," Kanji started before she could finish. "I got it." His face started to become rosy, most likely out embarrassment, Naoto assumed.

"Are-- are you sure about that?"

"Yeah, don't worry about it," Kanji replied, becoming even redder. She probably would have became red as well, Naoto thought to herself, if she was caught making clumsy mistake. The words "clumsy" and "Shirogane" didn't mix. 

Kanji, though, she thought. Kanji seemed like a clumsy person, like it was perfectly natural for someone like him to make a few mistakes here and there. He wasn't the brightest, she knew, or the most graceful, but that was just him being him. 

Naoto kept watch over the taller boy, making sure that he really was fine without her aid. He was almost done, picking up the scattered clothing from the floor, and his hands were quite full. After picking up the last couple pieces of fabric, he turned towards his room and lightly kicked the door, pushing it open. The detective was about to withdraw back into her living quarters when a couple more pieces of fabric tumbled out of Kanji's arms and back on the floor.

"Crap," she heard Kanji mutter to himself, twisting his back to see whatever it was that fell. He turned around once more to make an attempt at picking up the stray items with still full arms. After a while of straining to get the things on the floor, Kanji gave a sigh of defeat and straightened himself out again, turning around towards his room. Unknowingly, a small grin began to form on Naoto's face. He threw the pile of clothing in his arms into his room, turned around towards the two items on the floor, picked them up, turned around for the last time, and made his way into his room. The detective gave a small snort of laughter and withdrew back into her room, closing her door as Kanji closed his.

She shook her head, wondering how anyone as clumsy as him could have ever been considered one of Inaba's most fierce and intimidating teenagers. The detective went over to her suitcases to pick something out. She shuffled through a number of items to pick out a book. Slipping her fingers through the pages to find her bookmark, she made her way towards the couch, sat down, and continued to read from where she left off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know that isn't how Naoto texts, but i don't think i would be able to write out or even read a conversation between someone who texts like "i herd u liek movies ^_^" and another like "ARE YOU FREE MONDAY Y/N PLZ RESPOND."


	4. Chapter 4

"Kanji-kun?"

Naoto closed the front door of the Tatsumi residence, taking another step outside. The other first-year was sitting on the curb.

"Huh?" Kanji turned around, shielding his eyes from the morning sun. "Oh," he said, after realizing it was Naoto who had said his name. He stood up and brushed off his pants, then grabbed his school bag and came over towards the detective.

"What are you doing out here?" she inquired.

"I was, uh, waiting for you," replied Kanji. Naoto thought she could see Kanji's cheeks becoming pink, but she decided her eyes weren't too used to the outside light yet to make any assumptions.

"Oh."

"Well, uh, I mean, if you don't want me to walk with you or anything, I don't haf'ta," Kanji said, shuffling around awkwardly.

"No, it's quite alright, Kanji-kun," Naoto insisted. She didn't want him to feel bad, though at the same time there was something in the back of her mind nudging her to walk with him. "You're already here, and, well, I'm already here, so there wouldn't exactly be any point in one of us staying behind just so the other may advance by themselves."

"Y-yeah," Kanji replied, looking flustered down at the ground and scratching the back of his head. "I guess you're right."

Naoto gave a confident nod after Kanji's approval of her statement. "Besides," Naoto added, flashing a small smile. Kanji turned his head towards in her direction, looking down at her. "I think I'd enjoy your company."

Kanji quickly looked away again, though Naoto could see the tips of his ears becoming pink. "We, uh, we should probably get going or something," Kanji suggested, looking at the road in front of them.

"Oh, yes," Naoto said. She began walking the route she usually took to Yasogami High; Kanji followed as well.

Most of their walk to school was filled with awkward silence. Most of what was circling through Naoto's mind during their walk to school was wanting to break the awkward silence. Though, it was interrupted when Rise found the two walking together.

"Aw, look at you two!" the idol exclaimed, jumping in between the other two first-years and wrapping her arms around their shoulders.

"Rise-san," Naoto said with a groan, trying to squirm her way out of her grip. "Would you please remove yourself from my shoulders?"

"Yeah, Rise," Kanji agreed, pushing the idol off of his shoulders.

"Jeez," she complained. "You two are no fun."

"Then why do you even hang out with us?" Kanji asked, clearly annoyed.

Rise ignored his statement. "So," she began. "You two are living together, huh?"

"It's only temporary, Rise-san."

"Yeah, just a week," Kanji added.

The three made their way through the front gate when Rise was apparently stuck by something important. "Oh, shoot," she began in a panic. "I totally forgot to give Hiro-chan her homework back!"

"Hiro-chan?" Kanji started. "You mean Hiroko? That one popular chick who throws those huge parties, like, every other week?"

"Yeah," Rise responded with a groan. "I gotta go, you guys." She began to run up towards the school entrance. "I'll see you lovebirds later, though," she turned around and added with a wink. 

"Christ, Rise," Kanji muttered to himself, turning red as the idol ran through the front doors of the school. "Sometimes I wonder if that girl can even hear the things that come outta her mouth sometimes," he said, turning to Naoto and bringing a hand up to the back of his head.

"I couldn't agree with you more, Kanji-kun," the detective agreed with a nod and a small snort.

\---

"So, uh, can you run it by me again? The reason you're staying with Kanji, I mean."

Naoto swallowed the last of the water in her bottle before replying to Yosuke. 

"Yeah, uh," Kanji added, scratching the side of his head. "I'd kinda like to know that as well."

Naoto smiled after Kanji's statement. "Of course," she snorted to herself while putting the cap back on the now empty bottle. It was lunch time, and Naoto was sitting with Kanji, Yosuke, and Souji, the other girls gone getting food.

"There was some kind of major pipe leakage in my apartment unit," the detective began. "The landlords, of course, wanted to fix it, and the leakage was quite serious, so I was told I wasn't allowed to stay while they went through renovations."

"And they wouldn't let you stay in another apartment or something?" Yosuke asked.

Naoto sighed. "No, unfortunately not." Souji then asked why it was Kanji she was staying with instead of the other girls. "It's the busy season at Amagi inn," she began, "you know, spring, vacations, tourists, etcetera, so Yukiko-senpai was off the list." Kanji nodded in response to her answer. "Chie-senpai said a few of her relatives were already over, so she was off as well."

"Oh, yeah," Yosuke began. "She told me that it was, like, some great-great uncle or something of hers that was staying. And that she wasn't allowed to watch kung-fu movies while he was over 'cause it was, like, 'too loud,' or whatever."

"...and Rise," Naoto began. "Well, Rise-san said that she wouldn't allow me to stay at her place, er, unless Kanji-kun said no." The detective glanced over at Kanji.

"Fuckin' Rise," He spat to himself, lightly pounding a fist on the table.

"Speak of the devil," Yosuke added with a laugh. Chie, Yukiko, and Rise made their way over to where the others were sitting, food in hand. Naoto decided to get out the lunch Kanji's mother had prepared for her in the morning. She didn't usually eat lunch, but eating what others gave her was always the polite thing to do.

"Ooh," Rise started, eyeing the bento. "Watcha got there? You don't usually eat lunch; did Kanji make it for you?" she asked with a wink to both the detective and delinquent.

"Shut the hell up, Rise," Kanji groaned, closing up his own, matching bento which he had received from his mother in the morning as well. Naoto then remembered her strenuous conversation walking to school in the morning with the two. Sure, the awkward silence was broken, but Naoto sure as hell didn't want it broken like that.

"Oh, yes, Kanji-kun," she started after remembering something. Kanji looked up at her after placing the bento back inside his bag. "I won't be back until later in the evening. There is some work down at the police station that requires my assistance."

"Oh, yeah, that's fine," he replied.

"Aw," Rise started. Naoto braced herself for another unnecessary comment about her and Kanji. "Are you two gonna miss a dinner date?"

"Would you PLEASE," the detective started, "BE QUIET."


	5. Chapter 5

"On tonight's news: ATM robbery suspect caught! Thanks to the Inaba P.D.! Only injuries were that of a young detective: suffering from a sprained leg. More, tonight at 10!"


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah, uh, drugs this chapter, so... idk i guess if you're uncomfortable with drug use sorry about that because they'll be mentioned/used in a few other chapters later. the alcohol will only be part of one chapter, but a large part of the chapter will be centered around it, so idk, do what you want.

Naoto felt Kanji's grip around her waist loosen as he attempted to open the front door of the Tatsumi residence. Balancing on one leg and her arm around his shoulders, she slowly placed her casted foot down. According to the detective's watch, it was 11 at night. 11:05 PM, to be exact.

After Kanji fully opened the door, he retightened his grip around Naoto's waist as Naoto retightened her grip around his shoulders. Oddly, she felt quite quite safe in his grasp. Though it didn't quite seem like it, his touch was gentle. Out in battle, seeing all the punches and kicks he threw out, it made her think that he would have been a bit more rough and reckless.

The delinquent's face was flushed, and Naoto couldn't see why it wouldn't be; he carried her from the police station back to his house after Dojima had dropped her off from the hospital. It wasn't too far of a walk, and Kanji was definitely fit enough to complete the task, but Naoto herself would have most likely needed a few breaks here and there if she was the one doing the carrying, so she didn't complain.

"Kanji? Is that you? Do you have Naoto-kun with you?"Naoto heard from the kitchen. She saw a head pop out in the doorway to the kitchen. It was Kanji's mother.

Kanji looked up from Naoto's casted foot as they made their way through the front door. "Huh?" he began. "Oh, yeah. She's right here."

"Oh, good," his mother said, making her way towards the two. "I was watching the news when that story about the ATM robbery came on. Place her on the couch, Kanji-kun," Mrs. Tatsumi told her son as she closed the front door once the two first-years were fully inside. Kanji pulled Naoto over to the couch and gently set her down, loosening his grip around her waist as she loosened hers around his shoulders.

It was hard to explain, but Naoto felt somewhat bare after Kanji fully let go of her. He stood next to the couch, fixing his school uniform as his mother came around and asked if either of them were hungry or thirsty.

"Nah," Kanji replied. "I'm fine."

Naoto's gaze lingered on Kanji for a few seconds as she turned her head toward his mother. It was strange, she thought, how someone like him could have such gentle of a touch, and she knew that there was still so much more she didn't know about him. "I'm fine as well."

Once Kanji was finished fixing his clothing, he looked around, making sure there wasn't anything else that needed to be taken care of. "You fine?" he started, looking at the two. "You don't need me to do anything else for you or anything?" Naoto looked up at him, not quite sure of the answer to that question.

"I think I can take it from here, Kanji-kun," his mother replied.

"Alright then, uh, I'll just be in my room, I guess." He looked down at Naoto sitting on the couch, and after seeing that she was already looking at him, immediately looked back up. His face was red, most likely still from dragging her all the way home, she thought. "Yeah, uh, bye," he mumbled and then started to make his way to his room.

"Here," Mrs. Tatsumi began. Naoto moved her gaze from where her eyes followed Kanji until she couldn't see him any longer to his mother. She moved herself around the couch to the coffee table in front, pulling it closer to the injured detective. "You can rest your leg on that," the older woman said, straightening out her clothing.

"Th-thank you, Mrs. Tatsumi," Naoto mumbled, placing her casted leg atop the table. 

"Oh, it's no problem, dear," she replied with a soft smile. It was weird, Naoto thought, that this woman was Kanji's mother. She seemed so, well, motherly and graceful. Compared to Kanji, it made her wonder what his father was like.

"I apologize if Kanji is a bit rough with you," she started. "It takes a while for him to open up to others."

"That's quite alright," Naoto replied with a smile. "I think he's fine the way he is."

Kanji's mother laughed. "Well, I think it's wonderful that you think that about my Kanji-kun."

Naoto's smile turned into a small grin. The detective looked down at her watch, letting out a small yawn as she did so. It was almost a quarter past 11.

"My," Mrs. Tatsumi began, "you must be tired after such a day." She looked up at the clock. "Why don't I help you to your room?" she offered.

"Oh, no," Naoto replied. "I think I can manage." She raised her hands in a polite decline. 

"Are you sure about that?" The older woman asked. Naoto gave a reassuring nod. "Well, I won't force you to take my help if you don't need it," she began, "but if you do find getting around the house difficult, I do believe Kanji-kun has a pair of crutches somewhere in his room from when he broke a bone in his younger years."

"Oh," Naoto replied. "I'll be sure to ask him later, then." Kanji's mother then gave Naoto one last polite nod and left as the detective stood up from the couch.

It took a while for Naoto to regain her balance, and then another while to hobble to Kanji's room. The door was slightly cracked open. The lights were on, Naoto saw, so he was still probably awake. She pushed the door open, not knowing why she did so without knocking first.

"Kanji-kun?!"

Kanji was laid atop his bed, wearing a pair of sweats and a sleeveless shirt. "Huh?"

Naoto's wide eyes made their way from the smoking object in Kanji's hand to his face, and then back to the smoking object. "What is that?!"

"Uh," Kanji started."A blunt?"

Naoto brought her hand up to her forehead. "Well--," she began, closing the door behind her. The smell of smoke lingered heavily in the room. "I mean, I know what it is, but what are you doing with it?!"

He shrugged. "I 'unno." He turned his attention to the object in his hand. "I'm doing what any normal person would do with one: smoking it."

Normal person? "A normal person, Kanji-kun?" started Naoto, her voice still raised. "A 'Normal Person' would turn that in to the police."

He looked back at Naoto. "Oh," the delinquent said. "I guess I'm not a 'Normal Person,' then," he replied, taking another drag. He then shaped his lips to an "O" and puffed out a ring of smoke.

Naoto was dumbfounded, completely dumbfounded. "Does your mother," the detective started, taking a step towards him, "know about this?"

"Uh, I dunno," Kanji replied, pushing himself up and scooting backwards with his back against the wall. He crossed his legs, leaving space at the foot of his bed. "I mean, I guess I wouldn't be surprised if she did know. This shit reeks whenever I forget to crack the window." The other first-year looked over to the window. it was opened. "But it's one a those 'don't ask don't tell' kinda things, y'know?" Naoto took Kanji's change in position as an invite to sit on his bed. She was hesitant at first, but after remembering how much smoke she inhales around the police station on a daily basis, thanks to the other detectives, she decided sitting next to him wouldn't do any harm.

The injured detective limped over to the foot of the delinquent's bed. "Kanji," she began, still a bit confused by the entire scenario, "do you know what I am?"

"Uh, a girl?"

Naoto wanted to smack the blunt out of his hand. "No, Kanji-kun. I'm a detective."

"Oh, yeah."

"...and do you know where I work?"

"Er, the police department?"

Naoto stared at him, waiting for another response. "Oh," he began.  She raised an eyebrow, waiting for something else. "...OH," after a streak of realization. "ShiT, dude," he said in a panic. He began looking around for something, Naoto didn't know what though. Probably somewhere to put the still-smoking blunt which he had placed in his mouth.

"Look--," Naoto sighed and placed a hand on Kanji's knee. "Kanji-kun, I'll let you off, alright?" Kanji stopped with whatever he was doing and looked at her with an expression of mild confusion.

"Huh?"

"All I urge is that you be extremely cautious with that stuff," she said, eyeing the blunt in Kanji's mouth. "I'll respect your decision to engage in such recreational activities, but marijuana is extremely illegal in Japan. You know that, don't you? Many of the other detectives and police officers, and possibly even students and other adults could get you in an immense amount of trouble." She looked up into Kanji's eyes. It was strange, though, that he was looking straight back into hers, and it seemed like he was genuinely listening to what she had to say. She thought that he would just shrug off whatever she had to say and continue with whatever he did however he did it. 

"The only reason I'm letting you off is because I've traveled all over the world, and in some places marijuana is legal. To be honest, I see nothing wrong with it." Really, that wasn't the only reason she was letting him go. The other reason was locked up somewhere in her heart. 

The delinquent nodded, blunt still in mouth. She looked into his eyes. He really was genuinely listening to her. She sighed, removed her hand from his knee, and slouched forward, looking around Kanji's room. There was a table with a sewing machine on it, a pile of fabric and various, obviously handmade items, a few weights in the corner, a bookshelf, more than likely filled with various sewing and tailoring manuals, a television, and a few other items that any other bedroom would have.

"So," Naoto began, looking back at Kanji. She saw that he was looking at her, but then turned his gaze away as soon as their eyes made contact. "Your mother told me that you supposedly have a pair of crutches up here?"

"Huh?" Kanji started, taking the object out of his mouth and balancing it on the corner of his nightstand. "Oh, yeah. Lemme get those for you." The delinquent uncrossed his legs and slid off of the other side of the bed, trying to gain balance for a few seconds and then straightening out his sweats. He then grabbed the blunt once more and stuck it in his mouth.

Naoto stood up as well, arching her back in a stretch and giving out a small yawn. Checking her watch. It was well past late.

She turned around towards the other first-year, who already had the pair of crutches in-hand.

"Here ya go," the bleached-blonde said as he handed Naoto the two crutches. Kanji watched her as she took them and placed them under her arms. They were a bit too tall for her, though.

"Uh, are they too tall or something?"

"Er, a bit, yes."

"Alright," Kanji started, making his way next to Naoto. "Lemme fix them for you." She shifted her gaze down towards him as he knelt down next to her, adjusting the height of the crutches. He wasn't the sharpest, or the most suave, she knew, but he was, or at least could be, everything else. He didn't exactly make the best decisions either, but there was something about him, Naoto thought; something that could make you overlook all of the minor flaws and imperfections. Her eyes followed him as he finished one of the crutches and moved onto her other side to fix its matching pair. She knew he meant well, and he would never cause unnecessary strain to anyone just to get on their nerves, and, really, there was nothing else he needed.

"Alright," Kanji said, straightening himself out and placing the blunt back on another nightstand. "Done."

Naoto repositioned the crutches underneath her arms and began to hobble around with them. Kanji laughed. "Well, looks like they fit you just fine."

Naoto grinned. "Yes, I suppose so." She then made her way towards the door.

"Oh, uh, hey," he started, making his way towards the door as well. "Lemme get that for you." The other first-year cut in front of Naoto, reaching for the door. He smelt heavily of smoke, and, strangely enough, a bit of fabric softener.

Naoto stepped back, letting Kanji open the door. The air in the hallway was much cooler and cleaner compared to the warm, smoky air of the delinquent's bedroom. The detective came forward, out into the hallway.

"Thank you, Kanji-kun," she said as she turned around on her new, yet slightly used crutches to face him.

"Oh," he replied, taking a step into the hallway and closing the door behind him. "It's, uh, it's nothing; no problem." His face was a bit rosy, and Naoto couldn't blame him; it was quite warm in his room.

She looked up at him, wanting to say something else. They were unusually close, being in the hallway and all. Kanji looked away after a few seconds of eye contact. Naoto did so as well. "I suppose I should get going," the detective started. "It's quite late."

"Uh, yeah," Kanji said. "I guess it is." Naoto turned around to the direction of her room. Reluctant to admit it, she was reluctant to leave his side.

"Oh, uh," Kanji started as she was already halfway down the hallway. "Thanks to you, too, I guess." Naoto turned around on her crutches. Kanji was standing in the middle of the hallway, facing her. His hand was raised up behind his head. It was dark, but Naoto could tell that his face was flushed.

"It's no problem," she said, a grin coming over her face. He looked up, and after seeing Naoto's grin, he looked back down again, becoming even redder.

"Well, uh," Kanji started, looking back up at her. "'Night."

"Goodnight, Kanji-kun," Naoto replied as the delinquent gave her one last look and withdrew back into his room. The detective turned back around and continued to her room.


	7. Chapter 7

 

Naoto struggled getting out of the front door that morning.

"Yeah, uh, you sure you don't need help carrying your bag or anything?" Kanji asked again while  opening the front door for her.

"No," the detective said once more. "I'm fine, Kanji-ku--," she was interrupted when her school bag hit the floor.

"Yeaahhh," the delinquent trailed on with a grin. "I think I'll carry your bag for you." He bent over to pick up her school bag as Naoto hobbled out the door, with an embarrassed grin on her face.

As soon as she was out the door, Kanji was out too, closing it behind them. It didn't take long for him to catch up, as she was only a few feet or so away after hobbling so much. "Hey," the other first-year joked as he came up behind her, "slow down there, Speedy Gonzales."

"Excuse me? Speedy Gonzales?" Naoto repeated with a raised eyebrow. "Sorry, Kanji-kun, but I'm not that short," she continued sarcastically with a grin. 

Kanji gave a snort and came up next to her, throwing one of the school bags over his shoulder. "Jeez, Naoto," he complained. "The hell you got in here, rocks?" 

Naoto laughed. "If that were the truth," she began, "my bag would be much lighter." Kanji rolled his eyes playfully in response. 

This morning was much nicer than the last, Naoto noted. Though she was suffering from a broken leg, she would have much preferred mornings like these over mornings like yesterday any day.

"But really," the other first-year began, "thanks a ton for, well, uh, y'know, not spilling anything." His face was serious, but there was a blush creeping over his cheeks.

"Oh, it's fine, Kanji-kun," she replied, remembering last night. A warm smile came over her face. "Your secret is safe with me." Maybe on the outside, doing drugs didn't seem like such a bizarre thing for someone like him to do, but once getting to know him, he definitely didn't seem like the type. Maybe he just got caught up in the wrong crowd, Naoto thought, while growing up. Something else came into Naoto's mind. "Did you, er," the first-year started. Kanji turned his attention towards her. "Or do you, uh," Naoto trailed off, at a loss for words.

"Do any other drugs?" Kanji filled in for her, raising an eyebrow. She nodded. "Naw, man. Stuff like LSD and crack and stuff? That shit's insane." The detective nodded once more. At least he wasn't on that train, she thought. "I wouldn't wanna get caught up in that crowd." The detective agreed with him. "Hell," the delinquent started, "I don't even know HOW they get that shit in Japan." Naoto laughed, though she didn't exactly know why. Kanji's face grew pink as he scratched the back of his head.

The two walked on in silence; not awkward silence, but just enjoying each other's company. Though, it was more like Naoto hobbling and Kanji walking as slowly as possible to not leave the injured detective behind. As they arrived on the main road to school, more and more students came walking on the road as well, some noticing the two first-years together.

"Hey, uh," Kanji began, looking around at the other students walking around them. "People are starting to stare..."

Naoto looked around as well. She caught a few of the students' gazes, who then quickly looked away after eye-contact with the detective. "Well," she began, "I don't see why they wouldn't. I was mentioned on the news as having a broken leg."

"Well, uh, yeah," the taller boy started, his face becoming pink again. "But, y'know, people might start to say things. We did walk to school together yesterday, too."

Naoto got the hint and took that fact into consideration, but soon shrugged it off. "I decided to stop caring about what people thought of me a while ago, Kanji-kun," she said with a small smile.

"O-oh, yeah," the other first-year replied, flustered. "I guess you're right."

"Besides," Naoto added with a playful grin. "Who else would carry my bag to school for me?"

"Hey," Kanji snorted. "You just said that you didn't need my help when you were tryin' to get outta the house."

"Did I say that?" Naoto asked jokingly.

"Uh, yeah," the other first-year replied, "I'm pretty sure you did."

The detective laughed as she hobbled through the front gates of the school along with the delinquent.

\---

"So, Kanji-kun, how was your day at school today?"

"Oh, it was, uh, the usual."

"And you, Naoto-kun? How was yours?"

Naoto swallowed the last bit of food she had in her mouth before answering. "It was fine," she replied. Mrs. Tatsumi nodded in response. It was awkward, eating dinner with the Tatsumis, Naoto felt, but it was more than likely because Naoto herself was a guest.

"Jeez, Ma," Kanji started. "Enough with the questions."

"Oh, hush, Kanji," the older woman said. "It's not every day we have a guest eating dinner with us. You should show more manners." Kanji grumbled to himself and looked back down at his empty plate.

The detective couldn't help but give a small snort at Kanji's reaction. "Well," Kanji's mother started, "I hope my Kanji hasn't caused any trouble for you so far."

"Oh, he's no trouble at all," Naoto replied with a smile, looking at the now furiously blushing delinquent.

"I'm glad," his mother replied. "Kanji-kun here has improved drastically academically and attitude-wise ever since he became friends with you all. I think you are all wonderful role-models as well as friends for him."

Naoto blushed after the compliment. "Oh, well, I'm sure we're all equally as glad to have Kanji-kun here with us as well." Kanji slumped even lower, trying to hide himself from all of the compliments about him being thrown around.

Mrs. Tatsumi laughed. "Well, you know, if you ever need Kanji-kun to change anything, I'm sure he'd be willing to do it for you all if he put enough effort into it. He doesn't exactly make the best decisions all the time, but his intentions are always for the best."

The detective smiled once more. "I don't think that's necessary, Mrs. Tatsumi," she started. Gazing over at the other first-year, he was already as red as, well, something very red. "I think Kanji-kun here is just perfect the way he is; he doesn't need any changing," she said, still looking at the extremely flustered delinquent.

"My," Kanji's mother started with a playful smile. Naoto looked over at the older woman who seemed to have noticed something about the detective that Naoto didn't quite notice herself. "You're not in _love_ with my Kanji-kun, are you?"

"That's it!" Kanji started, standing up from the table. His face was beet red."I'm done with you guys!" He took his plate and made his way over to the kitchen sink. 

"Well," the detective snorted, keeping her gaze on the other first-year walking to the sink. "I'm not quite sure. I can't say that I am," she said with a playful smile as she turned towards the older woman, "but I can't say that I'm not."

The detective heard a clatter of plates into the sink. She turned back towards Kanji, who was leaning with his palms against the sink counter. She could see that his face was still quite pink.

Mrs. Tatsumi laughed as well. "Oh," she started with a grin. "I think that's more than enough for Kanji." She then looked over towards her son. "Kanji-kun?"

The delinquent looked over towards her, still leaning over the countertop. He was still red. "Could you put away the dishes for tonight? I need to finish up that kimono for Ms. Suzuhara by tomorrow," she asked as she stood up.

Naoto looked up at the boy whom she wasn't quite sure she was in love with. "Yeah, yeah," he grumbled, taking his own dishes that were in the sink and washing them off. The older woman turned towards Naoto and gave her one last nod, which she promptly returned, and then walked away, leaving the two first-years by themselves.

The detective stood up as well, grabbing a couple of the dishes from the table. She shuffled over to Kanji's side, placing the dishes next to the sink. Naoto was already quite used to the cast, being able to travel short distances without crutches. "Uh, thanks," the taller boy mumbled, turning towards the injured first year.

Naoto looked up at him and gave a smile in response. Seeing the smile, the delinquent turned red once more and quickly shifted his gaze back down towards the dishes in the sink. The shorter first-year made her way back to the table, grabbing the remaining plates and various dishes. Kanji came up next to her, looking for more dishes to take. Naoto had already taken most of them; there was only a glass left on the table.

"You fine carrying that?" the delinquent asked, motioning towards the pile in front of her. She nodded in response. "All right, then," he said, looking over the table once more.

The bleached-blonde bent over to take the glass cup placed on the other side of the table, his arm barely brushing Naoto's. "Oh, uh," he began, quickly recoiling his arm with glass in hand, "sorry."

"It's fine," she stated with a small smile. Kanji quickly turned, his face pink and began to walk back towards the sink. He was strange, Naoto thought, always getting flustered over the slightest compliment or touch. Hell, he even got that way whenever she asked him a simple question.

The detective's train of thought was interrupted when she heard a loud crash behind her. Quickly twisting around, she saw the other first year crouching on the floor. "Shit," he whispered gathering pieces of shattered glass scattered all over the floor. The shorter first-year made her way next to Kanji, crouching over as well to help gather the shards.

"Clumsy" was definitely the right word. The detective's hands were much smaller than the other first-year's, she noticed. Kanji looked up at her after noticing her small, petite hands gathering the scattered glass alongside his, but quickly looked back down, continuing to gather the stray pieces. His hands were a bit shaky, Naoto noted. They were much like Kanji himself, if that made sense. Big and clumsy, not that there was anything wrong with that, she thought, but it seemed a bit out of place when someone like him was virtually a professional at sewing and tailoring.

"Careful, Kanji-kun," Naoto cautioned with a worried grin coming over her face. "You might cut yourself."

The taller boy laughed. "Like hell I'm gonna do tha-- Shit!" He quickly recoiled his hand away from the pile of shards. A bead of blood formed on his thumb as he brought his hand up to his face.

The detective snorted at him as he stuck his thumb in his mouth embarrassedly and continued to sweep the shards into the pile in front of him with his free hand.

No, she thought once more, still staring at him as he brought the glass into the pile in front of him. There was nothing wrong with him. Being big, being clumsy, getting flustered easily, there was nothing wrong with any of those; they made him who he was. They made him the type of person that Naoto found so enjoyable to be around. 

Being so close to him, she remembered the other night in the hallway, when they were close as well. He smelt like fabric softener and smoke, then. Now, it was fabric softener and dish soap. She could feel her heart beating in her chest. 

"Damn," Kanji said with an embarrassed grin. "I guess if that old bat never asked me to clean up, this never woulda happened." The detective nodded dumbly.

And it was true.

She had to admit that it was completely, utterly, and perfectly true.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i know what you're probably asking. "Speedy Gonzales? what the hell?" well, actually, there was a Game Boy game about Speedy Gonzales which had a Japanese version as well as an English version, called Soreyuke! Speedy Gonzales, so, yes, Speedy Gonzales does, in fact, exist in Japan.


	8. Chapter 8

"Ooh, so, did you hear?" Rise started, hobbling across the roof towards the other two first-years on Naoto's crutches. The detective looked up from the bento sitting in her lap. It was lunch time, with the trio of first-years sitting on the roof. It was quite hot, to say the least.

"Hiro-chan's throwing a party in a few days; you guys are invited!"

Naoto gave the idol a confused look, then turned to the taller boy sitting next to her. Hiro-chan? The detective barely even knew the mentioned girl. Kanji looked up from his matching bento with a confused look as well.

"Hiro-chan?" he started. "Wait, does she even know us? Why is she inviting us?"

"She invited me," shrugged the idol, still swinging on the crutches, "so I'm inviting you guys."

"...I don't think you can do that, Rise-san...," said the shorter first-year, still a bit perplexed.

"Yeah, uh...," agreed the delinquent. "Did you ask her, or something?"

"No," said Rise bluntly.

"Then...," continued Kanji.

"It's just one of those parties that as long as you know someone who's going, you can go," she explained with another shrug. Naoto still had her doubts, though.

"...I believe I'll decline, Rise-san...," the detective replied. Really though, even if she was eligible to attend, it wasn't like Naoto was that big of a fan of parties.

"...Yeah," agreed the delinquent sitting next to her. "I think I'll pass too."

"What? C'mon," the idol begged. "Please?"

The detective raised an eyebrow at her. "Do I really seem like the type of person to enjoy parties, Rise-san? Loud, teenage parties, no less."

"It'll be fun, though!!" She then turned towards the delinquent. "C'mon, Kanji, you gotta go, too!"

"Hey," he started. "I already said no."

She turned back towards Naoto. "Just this once," she continued. "It's not as bad as you think! I swear!" The shorter first-year shook her head. "C'mon, Naoto-kun, if you go," she started, swinging on the crutches, "then Kanji's gonna have to go, too!"

"Wh-- what?" Naoto stuttered, turning red. She looked up towards the taller boy, who was red as well after that statement. After a second of eye-contact, the two quickly looked away from each other.

Rise raised an eyebrow after noticing their actions. "...maybe," Naoto said, still a bit red.

"Really?" Rise asked, a bit ecstatic. "You'll go?"

"MAYBE, Rise-san," she repeated. "If I really don't have anything to do that night."

"And you?" she said, turning towards the still red delinquent. "That means you'll go, too, right?"

"I-- uh," he started, switching gazes between the idol and detective. "Maybe," he repeated as well.

"Yesss," the other first-year triumphantly whispered to herself, pulling a fist out of so-called "victory." She then hobbled away, still toying around with the crutches.

"Jeez," Kanji started with a worried smile across his face. His hand scratched the back of his head. "That girl's something else..."

Naoto sighed with a worried smile as well. "I have to agree with you on that one, Kanji-kun." The two first-years then returned their attention back to their food, continuing to eat whatever it was the delinquent's mother had packed for them. 

"Kanji-kun-- hey!" Naoto cried when a foreign pair of chopsticks made their way to her bento and picked up a slice of sausage. She looked up towards the first-year sitting next to her, the stolen sausage right in front of his mouth. "I'd like that back, please," she said with a worried grin coming over her face.

"What," he began with a grin, bringing the meat away from his mouth, "this?"

"Yes, Kanji," she nodded, trying to take the food back, "that."

"But I only got two," he said, pulling the sausage away.

"But if you take that one," the detective started to explain, "then I'll only have two."

He shrugged. "Not my problem." The bleached-blonde then placed the stolen sausage into his mouth.

"Kanji-kun!" the first-year cried. he shrugged again. Naoto punched his shoulder, her face unknowingly turning red. With a sigh, she turned away from him, looking for something more calming to focus on.

She looked up at the idol, still swinging on the crutches, but it seemed like she was focused on texting another friend at the moment. The detective suddenly felt a vibration in one of her pockets.

Rolling her eyes, she got out her phone, wondering who that _possibly_ could have been.

> One Message (with attachment):  
>  Rise Kujikawa

Groaning, she checked whatever it was that the idol had sent her. It was a photo... Of her and Kanji, not taken too long ago. The photo consisted of her and the delinquent and their quarrel over the stolen sausage. Naoto was reaching up towards an item that Kanji had pulled away from her.

> [12:55] Rise Kujikawa: u like it?^-^

The detective furiously looked up from her phone. The idol was waving to her. "Rise-san!" she cried.

The delinquent sitting next to her dumbly looked up from his bento, switching gazes between the other two first-years. Naoto shifted her gaze towards him, hoping he wouldn't ask what was going on. He shrugged and brought his attention back down to his food.

Naoto felt her phone vibrate in her hand once more.

> [12:56] Rise Kujikawa: just dont delete it, k? ^-~  
>  [12:56] Naoto Shirogane: You had better not think about sending that to anyone, Rise-san. If you do, I will end you.

The detective could feel a blush rising to her cheeks as she thought of the photo again.

> [12:57] Rise Kujikawa: i wont, i wont!!!  
>  [12:57] Rise Kujikawa: ...just as long as u wont delete it...

Reluctant to admit it, the detective didn't exactly want to delete the image either. She looked up from her phone, seeing the idol hobbling back to the two with a wide grin. 

"Hey," Kanji nodded, looking up from his now empty bento. He raised an eyebrow after noticing the idol's enthusiastic grin. Then he looked down towards the blushing detective, who, after making eye contact with the delinquent, quickly averted her gaze. "Uh," he started, clearly aware that something which he was not aware of had passed.

"It's nothing," said the idol, still grinning.

"All right then...," he continued, putting his bento away. Naoto remembered her bento, as well. It was almost time for lunch to end, so she decided to put it away as well.

"Wait wait wait," started the taller boy after she began to close her bento. "You didn't even eat those other two pieces of sausage."

"Excuse me?" Naoto asked. She then remembered how Kanji took one of the three pieces, guessing that he must have liked the food. "Oh," she began, taking the bento and holding them up to the delinquent. "You can have them, if you'd like."

"R-really?"

"Yes. Normally, I don't eat lunch. I never have the time in the morning to prepare anything, so...," she trailed off.

"Sweet," he whispered to himself, taking the bento. _'Sweet'?_ , she thought to herself. A bit of an inane comment, it was; something that she would never use. She gave an embarrassed blush after realizing this was the boy she had fallen for as he placed the bento in his bag for later consumption. The idol seemed to have noticed the detective's blushing, as well, giving a raised eyebrow as she glanced back and forth between the two sitting first-years.

Naoto seemed to have noticed Rise, and worried that she would quickly pick up on something, stood up. "A-anyway!" she began, standing up. "I do believe lunch is ending soon; I think it would be wise for us to start heading back to class."

"Huh?" The delinquent looked back up from his bag. "Yeah," he started, "I guess." Standing up, he held his hand out towards the injured detective. After seeing his offered hand, she quickly looked away, blushing. She grabbed his hand as he helped pull her up.

"Hey, Moronji!!" the idol started, clearly upset by something. "How come you never offer to help me up like that?"

"Uh, maybe 'cause you're not the one with the broken leg?" he said, letting go of the detective's hand and facing the other first-year. "And would stop calling me that?"

"Whatever," she said, making her way onto the other side of the injured first-year.

Naoto began slowly making her way to the rooftop door alongside Kanji. Rise was still hobbling on the crutches behind the two. It was easier walking without crutches now, much easier; though, after a while of walking she would need them again. 

Now in front of the door, the delinquent reached over to open it for the other two first-years, dropping a book along the way. The pint-sized detective looked down at the dropped object. It was... A pocket dictionary?

"Oh, uh," the delinquent started as he stopped to pick up the dropped book.

"A pocket dictionary?" the rather confused detective asked.

"Er, yeah." The delinquent shuffled around awkwardly, clearly becoming embarrassed. "Sometimes, you, uh," he stammered, trying to find the right words to say, "use kinda complicated words?" He embarrassedly scratched the back of his head, his cheeks becoming rosy. "So, uh, I guess instead of shrugging them off like I usually do with like, uh, teachers and stuff," he swallowed, "I decided to pick up a dictionary to do, er, well, a little reading." He quickly turned away, clearly flustered. 

Naoto still was looking up at him, starting to turn red. Her heart went boom boom as she realized how silly of a thing that was for someone to do something like that, and how it was so like him to do it. Her heart then went thud thud as she realized he was doing such a silly thing for her.

"Oh my god," Rise started, clearly becoming aware of something. The two first-years looked over at her. Her mouth was open in a gasp, her gaze switching between the two.

"What?" Kanji started, giving the idol a look. The detective looked up at the taller boy, then looked back down towards the other first-year.

"It's--," the idol started. "It's nothing," she said, narrowing her eyes and shaking her head. She looked away.

Kanji shrugged. "Alright then," he said, holding the door open for the two. "After you."

Naoto nodded and began making her way forward when suddenly she felt a hand grab her arm. "Wait, Kanji," Rise said as the detective looked back. "I gotta talk to Naoto-kun about something."

The delinquent stood there, still looking at the idol and clearly not getting something.

"...in _private_ ," she added.

"Oh." The delinquent then took a step back into the doorway. "I'll just, uh," he started. "I'll just be heading back to class then," he said, closing the door to the roof as he left.

The detective then turned back to the idol. "Oh my god," she started again, still looking at Naoto. 

"What?"

"Oh my _god_ ," she repeated. The shorter first-year was losing her patience.

"What is it?" Really, though. What did she even want?

"You," she said, raising a finger to the detective. Naoto raised an eyebrow. 

"You're in love with Kanji, aren't you?"

The bell signifying the beginning of the passing period began. She froze as the bell rang on. How, the injured first-year asked herself. How could she tell? How could she have possibly known? Not that Naoto wanted to admit that she was in love with the delinquent.

"Wait," she began, after the bell ended. "What?"

"You're totally in love with him!" Her eyes were full of shock, yet a grin somehow managed to creep upon the idol's face.

"Wh--," she started, trying to act like she had no idea of what the other first-year was saying. "What are you talking about?"

"Nonononono, missy," she began, coming forward and placing a finger on Naoto's chest, her eyes narrowed. "Don't try to play dumb with me." 

The detective looked away, trying not to make eye-contact and possibly even worsen her situation. She looked around to make sure it was only her and the idol alone on the roof, as well. "You've fallen for him! Head over heels!"

"Rise-san, please," she started, pushing the idol's finger away from her chest. "Stop--"

"No excuses, Naoto! Don't think I can't tell," started Rise. "I hang out with you two, like, every day for crying out loud! I've never seen you blush that many times, and around Moronji, no less."

"I..." Naoto could feel the blood rushing to her face. She quickly turned her head, not having anything else to say. Still, she wondered, how could Rise have found something like that so easily? She then remembered the other first-year's persona and her abilities in battle. Of course, she thought to herself, it just had to be. "We should get going; the bell has already rung," the detective said, trying to avoid the recently exposed subject.

"So you admit it!" Rise started, swinging ecstatically on the detective's crutches. "You're not denying it, so you admit it!"

"Please don't tell anyone about this," the she mumbled, embarrassed and blushing.

"Oh," the idol started, coming around the detective and hobbling through the door leading down to the third floor still on crutches. She winked. "I won't."

\---

The detective felt a vibration in her pocket as her math teacher turned around to write an equation on the board. Quickly glancing around to see if nobody was looking, she pulled out her phone.

> One Message:  
>  Rise Kujikawa

 The first-year looked up once more. The teacher was still writing on the board. She checked the message.

> [14:32] Rise Kujikawa: i wont tell, just as long as u come to the party ^_~~~

Legal or not, the detective decided, she would murder Rise Kujikawa.


	9. Chapter 9

Home alone again, Naoto could feel the vibrations of the bass of Kanji's music coming through the wall as she sat on the sofa, her injured leg atop the coffee table. The music playing was loud, very loud. Reading was a bit tough, the detective decided, with that many distractions. She closed the book with a sigh and looked up at the ceiling.

His taste in music wasn't bad, or anything; Naoto just had no preference for things like this. The only music she had ever listened to was either classical music when she was living with her grandfather or Rise's very repetitive pop music whenever the two had a study session and the idol made her listen along.

"WHY IS IT SO FREAKIN' HOT," she heard the delinquent yell in his room. An embarrassed grin came upon Naoto's face as she still stared up at the ceiling. Yes, she thought to herself, this just had to be the boy she had fallen in love with. 

She heard his door open and then slam shut. A minute or so later, it opened and slammed shut once more. She assumed he left to do something and then returned. She then assumed she was correct when the detective began to hear the air-conditioning of the house start itself. She felt the air around her cool within a few seconds. Though, even with the AC on and the attire she was wearing, it was still somewhat warm. 

She went back to reading her book as the delinquent's music blasted through the walls until her train of reading was interrupted by a violent shaking.

"Fuckin' Christ," she heard the other first-year curse loudly as the rumbling went on. She heard something crash and drop in his room. Was this, Naoto thought under all the panic, an earthquake? She gripped the sofa she was sitting on as the shaking came to a sudden stop, her heart pounding. It was over, she thought, at least for now.

The detective heard a door slam and the sound of footsteps quickly coming up to her door. "Holy shit," Kanji started as he busted open the door to her room, his eyes wide. "That was a fuckin' earthquake!" Naoto stared at him, her hand still gripping the couch. "We gotta get outta the house," he began taking a step towards the still shocked detective. She noticed that he was wet. "There might be, like, aftershocks or whatever that shit is."

She quickly brought her hands up in front of her. "Kanji-kun, wait," she started.

"Huh?" He stopped after taking one more step.

"I'm not wearing any pants."

The delinquent looked down towards Naoto's legs, then suddenly turned red. "S-sorry," he stuttered, quickly turning around. "Shit, uh," he mumbled. The tips of his ears were very pink, she saw. He then bent over, starting to take off his own pair of sweats.

"Wait, what?" the detective started, looking away confusedly. 

"You can wear these," he started, now turned back towards the detective and handing her the pair of sweats.

"But, uh," she started as she took the pants, still extremely confused.

"It's fine; I have a pair of shorts underneath." He was still looking away, trying not to catch a glimpse at her thighs.

"Oh," she said, starting to put the oversized pants on. It was a kind gesture, at least, she guessed to herself. 

Standing up after she had put the sweats on, she took a step forward with her injured leg and inadvertently banged it on a leg of the coffee table in front of her. Cursing to herself, she quickly bent over to hold her hurt leg, the delinquent coming over to her side. 

"Shit," he started, wrapping an arm around her to help keep her balance. "You alright?"

"I'm fine," she said, wrapping her own arm around his shoulders as he helped her back up. She looked back up and began making her way towards the door, the delinquent helping her keep her balance. 

Once outside, the two saw the idol waiting outside for them. "There you two are," she started, coming towards the two and looking around the shopping district at the others coming out of the various shops.

"Rise-san," Naoto nodded in acknowledgement. Kanji was looking around the shopping district as well.

"Jeez," Rise started again, "I almost had a heart attack." She then looked up at the two. "Wait a minute," she began with a smile, noticing Kanji's arm around Naoto's waist and Naoto's arm around Kanji's shoulder.

"Please don't start this," said the detective, aware of what the idol was about to say.

"Don't start what?" the taller boy asked, clearly unaware.

"Nothing," the the two other first-years said in unison. 

"Uh," he started. "Alright then."

"Well," began the idol. "I gotta get back to the shop," she said as she turned around, winking at Naoto. "See you two later."

The detective gave a sigh as she walked away. She looked around the neighborhood, the back towards the delinquent she was wrapped around. His shirt was still wet.

"Kanji...?"

"Yeah?" he said, looking over at her.

"...Why are you wet?" she began, taking her hand off of the wet fabric. It definitely wasn't water, she knew; water didn't smell like this. "What is this?"

"Uh," he started, looking down embarrassedly. "...bong water..." 

Bong water? Now, Naoto really wanted to smack him in the arm. She then wanted to smack herself after realizing this was the boy she was falling for. She thought she could see his cheeks becoming rosy, but it was too dark, she decided, to assume things. 

Sighing, she looked away. Her own cheeks became red as well, but she hoped it was dark enough for him as well to not see the color of her face.

Looking across the shopping district, she saw a familiar face coming up to check on the two. "Detective Dojima," Naoto nodded in acknowledgement.

"Shirogane," the older detective nodded back. He then looked towards the taller boy holding the injured first-year up. "Tatsumi." The delinquent just nodded in return.

"Your leg is healing, I hope?" Dojima began, looking back towards Naoto. She nodded in response. "That's good," he shrugged, giving a sigh. "Souji told me that you were staying with the Tatsumis. I hope this guy's not giving you a hard time," he said, pointing towards the delinquent.

"Oh," the younger detective started. "He's no trouble."

Dojima sighed once more. "If you say so." He then looked back towards the delinquent, raising an eyebrow after noticing his wet shirt. "What is that?" he asked.

"Oh," Kanji started, trying to come up with an excuse. "Uh..." Naoto could tell this wasn't going to end well if she didn't step in.

"Water," she interrupted. The older detective looked back at her, eyebrow still raised. "He was, uh," she began, thinking of an excuse. "He was drinking water, when the earthquake happened, I mean." She hoped he wasn't close enough to notice the smell. Dojima narrowed his eyes. 

"Uh, yeah," Kanji came back in. "Water, uh... Sorry about that."

"Alright then," the older detective said, giving the two first-years one last once over. He seemed to have noticed Naoto wearing obviously oversized sweats and Kanji wearing nothing at all, save a wet shirt and a pair of boxer-shorts.

"Oh, uh," Kanji started, trying to come up with an excuse for that as well.

"Save it," said the other detective. "Just put some pants on when you get back inside." He then turned around and continued down the street of the shopping district.

The delinquent gave an exhale of relief. "Thanks, dude," he started, looking over at Naoto. "You really saved my ass."

The detective gave a sigh. "It's no problem, Kanji. I wouldn't have wanted you to get in trouble." The delinquent the looked around the shopping district, as did she. Many of the residents began returning to their homes and stores. She then looked back towards the taller boy still supporting her. Her leg wasn't hurting anymore, she knew, and he probably could have guessed that as well. 

But still, she had to admit, she didn't exactly want him to remove his hand from her waist. His hand was big and clumsy, but she felt somewhat protected by it. 

It was pathetic, she thought, someone like her being so in love with someone like him. It was the first time she had ever fallen for someone, and it just had to be him. 

"Hey, uh," the delinquent started, looking back towards Naoto. "I guess we should be going back inside, huh?"

But, she decided, if being pathetic was what came from giving her affections to him, then pathetic was what she would be. 

The first-year came forward, her face rather close to the delinquent's. Her lips gently pressed against the taller boy's cheek for only a short instant, and then quickly pulled away. He briskly looked away after her lips left his side, his face clearly becoming red, even in the dark.

"I-- uh," he said, flustered and trying to push something else out. He looked back up towards Naoto, and after seeing that she was still looking at him, looked back down.

"Let's go back inside," the shorter first-year said for him. Her cheeks were red as well, but it was too dark for anyone to notice.

"Uh," he started. "Yeah." The two-first-years turned around and came back inside.

If the idol was there to see that, the detective knew, Dojima would have had to come back to arrest somebody, and it wouldn't have been the delinquent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drugs, hot weather, earthquakes, texting teen idol sensations; i think i may slowly be turning the setting of this fic from Inaba to Southern California...


	10. Chapter 10

"Alright, class," the detective's English teacher began. "Open your books to page 266; we're going to look at more English poetry."

Naoto's stomach churned as she opened her book to the specified page, remembering last night. She had kissed him, _kissed_ him. It was only on the cheek, sure, but it was still him. The dumbest boy on the planet, she thought. The dumbest, most pathetic, clumsiest boy, and she had kissed him. And not only was he dumb, pathetic, and clumsy, but he was also negligent, a bit dopey, and perfect, yes, _perfect_ , in so many ways she could and couldn't name. Sure, he didn't seem like it, but he was a gentleman, always helping her whenever she needed it, always doing the dumbest things just for her. Her heart pounded as she flipped through the pages.

"Let's see...," the teacher said as Naoto looked up, making eye contact. The detective cursed to herself. "Ah," started the teacher. "Shirogane, read the poem on page 266."

Standing up, she wanted to groan. Her heart couldn't take this."In English?" she asked.

"In English," her teacher responded. She read over the poem once, making sure she knew how to pronounce each word. The detective then cleared her throat, ready to recite. 

"'Love is a door we shall--'" The first-year was interrupted by a ringing bell.

"Oh," said the teacher, looking up from the book, "looks like you were a bit fortunate there, Ms. Shirogane." The teacher then addressed the rest of the class. "Your only homework tonight will be to finish the poem. Oh, and don't forget that you have the next two days of school off, as well: Friday and Saturday. That is all."

Naoto wanted to give a sigh of relief, sitting back down at her desk. A few moments later, the idol came into her classroom.

"Hey, Naoto-kun," Rise started, coming over to her desk.

"Rise-san," Naoto nodded in acknowledgement.

"So," she said, placing her bag on top of the detective's desk, "you're coming to the party, right?"

The shorter first-year groaned. "I don't know," she replied sarcastically. "Am I?"

"Of course you are," she started with a grin. "'Cause we're friends, and friends always go to each other's parties."

"This isn't even your party," Naoto pointed out.

"Whatever," the idol said, rolling her eyes. "It's tomorrow, starting at 7." She then looked back over at the detective with a sly grin. "And don't forget to bring your boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend," retorted Naoto, turning red.

"Suuurre," the idol trailed on. The detective ignored her, turning away to place her books into her bag. "You guys are so in love." Naoto begged whatever higher being there was to grant her some patience with the girl. "Can I be your maid of honor at your guys' wedding?" What? Naoto wanted to turn around and punch the idol in the arm. "Or, ooh, I know! I'll be your kids' godmother!"

The detective blushed furiously at the thought of her marrying the delinquent, or possibly even having children with him. "Would you please be quiet, Rise-san?!" Naoto groaned as the idol had a look of clear enjoyment across her face. "It isn't like Kanji-kun likes me back or anything," she started. "And last night, it was only a ki--," the detective stopped, remembering that the other first-year wasn't there to see what had happened between the two.

"What?" Rise started.

"It's nothing, never mind," Naoto started, deeply regretting what came out of her mouth.

"No," the other first-year started. "You were gonna say something about last night. What happened after I left?"

"It was nothing, Rise-san."

"Nuh-uh, you were gonna say something," the idol repeated. " _Kiss?_ " She squinted her eyes, thinking. "Did he _kiss_ you? Holy crap, or did you kiss him? Or, oh my god," she started again, grabbing Naoto's shoulder with wide eyes. "Did you guys kiss each other?"

"It's nothing," the detective still insisted, the color of her face clearly proving otherwise. She stood up, looking away. "Now if you'll excuse me," the first-year started. "I'm leaving." 

"Naoto-kun, wait!" Rise called. The detective grabbed her crutches and left the classroom with the idol quickly trailing behind.

\---

Naoto heard a knock at her door as she finished up the last chapter of her book. "Yes?"

"Hey, uh," Kanji said, sticking his head into her room as he cracked open the door. "I, uh, well," he mumbled, seeming to have a hard time finding the correct words. The detective raised an eyebrow. 

"I got this movie... And, uh, I mean, I was gonna watch it and stuff, and I didn't know if you would've wanted to see it too or anything, and, uh..." He was clearly turning red. "Look, just-- here," he said, pushing her door open all the way and stepping in. He handed her a DVD, still very red. 

"Y-Yukiko-senpai said it was a pretty good movie, and, uh, I kinda wanted to watch it, but, uh," he swallowed, scratching the back of his head. "I decided I could wait until it was, like, out on DVD, or whatever, so, uh..."

The detective looked down at the DVD. It was a horror movie. Of course, she thought. Only Yukiko would recommend that genre of movies. Though they really weren't her thing, she decided one little horror movie wouldn't hurt. Besides, she was already done with her book. "Sure," she said, looking back up at the stuttering delinquent.

"Wait-- Really?"

Naoto nodded, looking back up at Kanji and handing him back the box. "Uh," he started. "Cool, alright then, er..." The detective stood up from the sofa. "I'll just go get this ready, then." The taller boy then left the room.

Heading to the family room, Naoto caught the scent of popcorn being made. It sent butterflies through her stomach, realizing that she would be watching a movie with Kanji, alone. Her stomach then churned, remembering the kiss she had given him, hoping that it didn't ruin any chances. But, she thought, he did invite her to watch a movie with him; so there was that. Butterflies were sent through her stomach again.

Finally making her way to the couch, Kanji was standing on the other side, a bowl of popcorn in his hands. "Uh," he started, clearly hesitant about something. "Just sit wherever you want," he said as he put the bowl down on the coffee table in front of the couch. Going over to the television, he placed the disc inside of the player.

The detective sat on the side of the couch closest to her, assuming the other first-year would be sitting on the other side. Really though, she would have liked to sit much closer without it seeming suspicious.

The beginning of the movie wasn't all too bad, Naoto guessed; most of it made sense. Around the middle of the movie, when many of the chase scenes and jump scares occurred, was when Naoto found herself a bit conflicted. She knew for a fact that things like those could never happen in the real world, but every time she still found herself telling the main protagonist to not open that door or to not turn her back, afraid of what would pop out. But, sooner or later, her focus came off of the movie and onto her trying not to smile whenever Kanji flinched or jumped in his seat.

She didn't eat much popcorn either, with the taller boy pretty much inhaling the bowl whenever he knew something was about to happen or someone was about to die. Once, when the main protagonist, Hana was her name, came to a door, about to open it, Naoto could have sworn she heard the other first-year muttering and shaking his head to himself "don't do it, don't you _dare_ fucking do it," while taking handfuls out of the bowl which he had taken entirely over to his side of the couch. After the demon had popped out from behind door, Kanji pretty much threw the bowl of popcorn off of the couch, kernels splaying across the floor.

"Uh, sorry," he said, pausing the movie and getting up to clean the mess and get another bowl, which he promptly inhaled soon after. Naoto just looked up at him and snorted, sitting on the couch and her legs pressed up against her chest.

The ending wasn't too bad, as well. The detective just wished that the movie was a bit longer so she could have spent more time with the delinquent before heading to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "'Love is a door we shall open together.'  
> So they told each other under the moon  
> One evening when the smell of leaf mould  
> And the beginnings of roses and potatoes  
> Came on a wind.
> 
> Late in the hours of that evening  
> They looked long at the moon and called it  
> A silver button, a copper coin, a bronze wafer.  
> A plaque of gold, a vanished diadem,  
> A brass hat dripping from deep waters.
> 
> 'People like us,  
> us two,  
> we own the moon.'"
> 
> Moon Rondeau, by Carl Sandburg. it's a nice poem, in my opinion at least; one of my favorites.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i haven't updated for the past month. i've been staying with my grandparents, and, well, i wouldn't want to risk some old lady's life by having her accidentally walk into the room and see me updating awful fanfiction.

Kanji wasn't able to sleep that night. Every bump, every creak, every movement, it was just one of those weird demon hell-spawn things which the movie had been so full of. He tossed around in bed, wondering if Naoto, too, had as much trouble sleeping as he did.

The sudden knocking on his door gave him an answer as much as it gave him a heart attack. 

He hesitated for a moment, wondering for a second if it was one of those demented creatures coming to send him to the underworld. No, he thought to himself, hell no. There was no way; how dumb would you have to be to fall for something like that? Kanji then supposed that he was pretty dumb, but not that dumb.

"Y-yeah?" he called as he sat up, really hoping that it wasn't one of those things. He saw a the silhouette of his door crack open, a figure sticking its head it. 

"Kanji-kun?" The delinquent gave a sigh of relief after recognizing the voice.

"Y-yeah, uh, Naoto," he began, a bit confused. "What-- uh, what are you..."

"I can't sleep," he heard the figure say, cracking the silhouette of his open door wider.

"Oh, uh," he replied. At least that answered his question. "Me neither." He could feel himself becoming red, for no apparent reason, really. Naoto's silhouette just stood there. "Oh, er," he began, realizing she was just standing there for a reason. "You can come in if you want." Scooting over to the farther side of the bed, he made room for the detective to sit.

"Oh, um," she began, slowly making her way towards Kanji's bed. "Thanks..." 

As she came closer, the taller first-year could see her a lot more clearly now. She had a blanket draped over her shoulders and her hair was tousled over her head. He found her somewhat cute this way, to say the least. He could feel his face starting to become pink as he felt his bed dip into where she was now sitting.

"Sorry if I'm bothering you," the silhouette of the detective said.

"Huh?" the delinquent started. "Oh, no," he went on, his cheeks still pink. "'S fine."

But still, he thought, she was sitting on his bed, Naoto Shirogane, on Kanji Tatsumi's bed. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. Not like when the monster from the movie came out from behind the door, or like when the earthquake shook the entirety of YasoInaba and everywhere around it, but like when he felt her lips come in contact with his cheek. That kind of pounding; the kind that would keep you up not one, not two, but an entire lifetime's worth of nights just because you wanted to say those three simple words to that one specific person.

Kanji wanted to punch himself right now. Now wasn't the time for bullshit metaphors and poetry or whatever. He didn't want to ruin any chances between the two.

"I-- uh," he began, looking for something to say to break the silence. He could feel the heat of her back against his arm. "I guess we shouldn't have seen that movie," he said jokingly.

He heard a small snort coming from Naoto. "I suppose we shouldn't have," she agreed. "But still," she went on, swinging her legs on top of the bed. Kanji's heart thudded. "I guess you could say that I'm somewhat glad." She pulled her knees into her chest.

"Oh," the delinquent mumbled, not quite sure if he was getting what the detective was implying.

The silence rang on, but it wasn't all that awkward anymore. He was just comfortable with her sitting beside him, hoping that she was at least somewhat comfortable as well.

"You know," the shorter first-year started, still looking forward. "Ever since I came here, I think I've come to realize a lot of things, things I don't think--," she shook her head. "No," she began again. "Things I know I wouldn't have been able to realize anywhere else. I think," she began, swallowing a lump in her throat. "I think I..." She trailed off into silence, still staring in front of her.

Kanji wanted her to go on; he wanted her to say those words he knew there was only a one in a million chance of her saying, not fully aware that the chance was much larger than he thought. Much, much larger.

The detective gave a sigh, turning around. "Look, just--," she started, pushing away whatever else she was about to say. "Thank you, Kanji."

They weren't exactly the words that he had been hoping for, the words that he himself had wanted to say, but they were enough. Hell, he thought, they were more than enough. He nodded dumbly as Naoto then looked back forward, the silence flooding back in.

"Well, uh," Kanji began, looking away. "I think I'm gonna try and hit the hay again." He then looked back towards the detective who was still looking forward. "Er, yeah." He then turned over onto his side, facing away from the shorter first-year, not really wanting to sleep, but trying to make things less awkward now that he had nothing else to say.

"You can, uh, stay here for the night, if you want," he added, looking over his shoulder towards the detective. That was fine, right? It was a full-size bed, there was enough room. They were just friends, too, Kanji thought, a bit disheartened by that truth. Naoto looked over towards the delinquent, who, after a moment of eye-contact, quickly looked back in front front of him.

"Thank you," she mumbled, "I guess." Kanji couldn't help but blush as he felt the detective shift herself around next to him, her back against his.

Fuck hell-spawn, he thought, how was he supposed to sleep with Naoto in the same bed? He laid there for a while, his heart beating and stomach churning. After a while, for he had not even the slightest clue of how long he had been there, he felt the detective next to him shift, pulling the blanket that she was wrapped in.

God, he thought, he was pathetic. Not being able to sleep like this, just because someone who probably didn't even like him back was in the same bed, was pathetic. His train of putting himself down was interrupted when he felt a vibration under his pillow. 

Hesitant at first, he slowly stuck his hand beneath his pillow, not wanting to disturb the person beside him. He pulled his blanket over his head to shield the light as he checked his phone. Who the hell would be texting him this late at night? Blinded for a few seconds, his eyes quickly adjusted.

 

> One Message:  
>   
>  Naoto Shirogane

Turning red, his heart went boom boom as he read who the sender was. His heart then went thud thud as he checked the message.

> [2:56] Naoto Shirogane: Are you awake?

An embarrassed smile came across his face as he typed out a reply.

> [2:57] Kanji Tatsumi: Yeah.
> 
> [2:57] Kanji Tatsumi: No, wait.
> 
> [2:57] Kanji Tatsumi: No.

The delinquent grinned even more as he felt an elbow strike his back.

> [2:57] Naoto Shirogane: Very funny, Kanji-kun.
> 
> [2:58] Kanji Tatsumi: Hey, you're the one who asked.
> 
> [2:58] Naoto Shirogane: ...
> 
> [2:58] Kanji Tatsumi: ...
> 
> [2:59] Naoto Shirogane: ......................................................

Kanji snorted aloud.

> [2:59] Kanji Tatsumi: Why'd you text me in the first place?
> 
> [2:59] Naoto Shirogane: Do I need a reason to text you?
> 
> [3:00] Kanji Tatsumi: Well,
> 
> [3:00] Kanji Tatsumi: No.
> 
> [3:00] Kanji Tatsumi: But...
> 
> [3:00] Naoto Shirogane: I'm thirsty.
> 
> [3:01] Naoto Shirogane: There, are you happy?
> 
> [3:01] Kanji Tatsumi: Haha, real cute.
> 
> [3:01] Kanji Tatsumi: Can I get back to sleeping now?
> 
> [3:02] Naoto Shirogane: No.
> 
> [3:02] Naoto Shirogane: Get me something to drink.
> 
> [3:02] Kanji Tatsumi: Excuse me?
> 
> [3:02] Naoto Shirogane: Did I stutter?

The delinquent then brought his own arm back, elbowing the detective behind him.

> [3:03] Kanji Tatsumi: Yeah, VERY cute.
> 
> [3:03] Naoto Shirogane: That's no way to treat a guest, Kanji-kun.
> 
> [3:03] Kanji Tatsumi: What? I don't even HAVE anything up here to drink.
> 
> [3:04] Kanji Tatsumi: Unless you want
> 
> [3:04] Kanji Tatsumi: like,
> 
> [3:04] Kanji Tatsumi: bong water, or something.
> 
> [3:05] Naoto Shirogane: If I did that, I'd more than likely have to turn myself in.
> 
> [3:05] Naoto Shirogane: After getting my stomach pumped at the hospital.
> 
> [3:05] Naoto Shirogane: So,
> 
> [3:05] Naoto Shirogane : No thank you, Kanjo
> 
> [3:06] Kanji Tatsumi: ...
> 
> [3:06] Naoto Shirogane: That wasn't a typo.
> 
> [3:06] Kanji Tatsumi: Suuurree...
> 
> [3:06] Kanji Tatsumi: It must be getting past your bedtime, huh?
> 
> [3:07] Naoto Shirogane: Well, it's not my fault you asked me to stay up with you to watch that movie.
> 
> [3:07] Kanji Tatsumi: You didn't have to say yes, you know.
> 
> [3:07] Naoto Shirogane: Whatever.

The taller first-year let out a yawn as he typed out his next reply to the the other first-year laying next to him. He could feel his eyes becoming heavy, but he wanted to stay up longer. He wanted to keep texting her. 

Now, he didn't really care that she was in the same bed, he was just content being like this. Some kind of relaxed state of happiness that he felt whenever the two joked around like this; he hoped she was feeling this way, too. She probably was. Anything, he thought to himself, he would do anything to keep things like this. Though, he wouldn't mind if they could get closer, either. Just as long as nothing was ruined.

The delinquent's heart began to pound as he remembered the kiss she had given him the other night. He wanted to return it. He knew he could have, he knew that there was nothing stopping him from turning around that very instant, pulling the blanket off of the detective's covered head, and placing his lips right over her cheek. He knew that, but he still didn't. He just continued to text her, his heart still pounding in his chest throughout the night.

\---

Naoto awoke suddenly to a loud thud. Heavy eyes scanning the room, she saw the delinquent hunched over, one hand atop his sewing table and the other holding his foot. 

"Shit," she then heard him whisper. He cautiously turned his head back towards the detective laying in his bed. "Oh, uh," he started after seeing that he had woken her up. "Sorry, I didn't, uh, mean to wake you."

The first-year just looked at him with squinted eyes, still a bit groggy. "Uh," he began again. "I'm just gonna go." He then turned back forward and left the room. 

The detective laid there, trying to collect herself after the sudden wake. Taking a deep breath, she turned onto her back. It smelt like fabric softener with small hints smoke, but something a bit more, a bit familiar, yet so far away, the bed she was on. Her heart then started to pound as she realized she wasn't in her room. Quickly sitting up, she looked around, remembering whose room it was that she was sleeping in. It was Kanji's room that she was in; Kanji's bed that she had been laying upon. 

Sticking her hand under her, or rather the delinquent's pillow, she pulled out her phone. Her heart beat as she went through the messages, showing that the night, or very early morning, before wasn't a dream.

She placed her phone on the pillow beside hers, then flopped back down, taking another deep breath of the bed she was in. Yes, she thought to herself, this definitely was Kanji's bed; it smelt just like him. If only, she joked, she could wake up here every morning.

Remembering the messages they had sent, she didn't exactly know why she had texted him in the first place, but by the end of it, she knew; not why she had texted him, but that he was the one, the one that she was always going to be in love with. She wanted to tell him last night. After that last "goodnight" that he had texted her, she wanted to tell him. She could have, she knew. Just those three simple words, and it would have been done. But she didn't, so she just laid there, her heart beating and those three words on the tips of her fingers, ready to be sent, but not ready to be known.

Laying there, she just thought about him. She thought about his bleached hair, his piercings, his scar. She remembered his back and the feel of it against hers. She thought about his clumsy hands, his clumsy self. She thought about how flustered he got whenever embarrassing questions were asked, how red he turned whenever he made a fool of himself in front of her. She remembered how red he had gotten when she had given him a kiss. She remembered the feel of his hands around her waist those times he had helped her through the door. 

She wanted to feel his hands. She wanted to feel them around her waist once more. She wanted to feel his lips. She wanted to feel them against her cheek, against her own lips; she wanted to feel them running down her neck, over her shoulder, trailing down her collarbone. She wanted him all over her. She wanted to give herself to him.

His hands, she thought. She wanted his hands over her waist, her stomach, her hips. She wanted his hands to roam free around her body, exploring all the places that she never wanted to acknowledge as a part of herself. She wanted him to acknowledge them for her.

It was him that she wanted to come to whenever she needed someone to talk to, for she knew he would listen. It was him that she wanted to come to her whenever she needed help, for she knew he would, being such the gentleman he was. 

And god, she knew, it was pathetic. It was pathetic how much she was in love with him. It was pathetic how much she wanted to tell him. And it was pathetic how she could, but didn't. 

Suddenly sitting up, she decided that she shouldn't linger on it much longer, for that would have been even more pathetic.

Feeling a sudden hunger for food, she turned towards the digital clock on the delinquent's nightstand. It was already half past noon. Taking a deep breath, she wondered how late they had stayed up. But it didn't matter; as long as she was able to stay up with the other first-year, she didn't care how late she slept. 

Naoto swung her legs over the side of Kanji's bed, her blanket wrapped over her shoulders and her hair still ruffled.

Making her way to the kitchen, she could smell food being made. The taller boy was in front of the stove and obviously making something. The detective felt her stomach growl. Walking up beside him, she saw eggshells and various items needed for chopping up vegetables spread over the kitchen counter. Naoto looked over to the stove to see that the other first-year was making an omelette.

"Oh, uh," she heard him start. "Good morning."

She looked up at him and gave him a nod in response. "Good morning, Kanji." She looked back down at the cooking food. It wasn't exactly morning, she remembered. "Or I suppose it's a good afternoon," she continued, looking back up at him.

"Huh? Oh," he replied. She thought she could see a vague blush come across his cheeks. "Yeah, I guess."

Looking back down at the food, she heard the delinquent begin to say something again. "I figured you'd be kinda hungry, too," he mumbled as Naoto stood next to him. "So I decided to make, uh, something to eat."

"Oh. Thank you, Kanji-kun," she started, blushing a bit. "But you don't really have to--"

"Naw, man; it's cool," he said. "Besides, you're the guest." The detective nodded in response. "Er," he began again. "Sorry if it's not that good." 

"Well," she replied, looking back around the kitchen counter. "It doesn't seem like you used any out-of-the-ordinary ingredients." She then turned back towards the stove. "And it smells fine, in my opinion."

"Oh, uh," he replied. "I guess."

"And besides," the detective added, with a small laugh. "As long as you're not one of the other girls, you'll probably do fine."

"Oh, yeah," Kanji said with another small laugh. "Probably."

The two stood side-by-side as the taller one cooked and the shorter just watched. Naoto felt the heat of the stove as she stood there. And she wanted to stand there forever, right by his side. 

"The party's today, right?" she heard him ask, still keeping his eyes on the cooking food.

Naoto nodded in response. "Yes, at 7." The taller boy gave another nod, his attention still on the food. She wondered how things would go at the party. The detective knew she wasn't that big of a party animal, and that she wasn't exactly the type to socialize and mingle with others. Was she just supposed to sit there with her broken leg and wait until the party ended? And really, she thought to herself, inviting a detective police officer to a high school party wasn't exactly one of Rise's best idea. If there was alcohol, she knew, there would be some trouble. And, really, with a party where literally anyone could have been invited, literally anyone could bring some form of illegal substance, and that was where she was supposed to draw the line. Not that Naoto wasn't able to make a few exceptions, she thought as she remembered Kanji and his involvement with his own illegal substances.

Though, she told herself, she was in high school, and the party probably would have things that one of those stereotypical high school parties would have, so maybe, just maybe, she would be able to make one more exception.

"Oh," Kanji began, reaching up towards a nearby cabinet. She then remembered the exception she had made with Kanji, just only barely blushing. If, she thought to herself, he did smoke, more than likely he would drink, at least a little bit. she ten wondered if being more laid back, more forgiving and willing to make exceptions, he'd come to like her more. 

He pulled out a glass and handed it to the detective standing by him. "I guess you're still thirsty," he said with a laugh. "There's water in the fridge."

"Thanks," she said, taking the cup. She then looked back up at him with a playful smile. "Not bong water, I hope?"

He gave a snort in reply. "No, sorry about that."

Walking over to the refrigerator, Naoto noticed that she and Kanji were probably the only ones home, or his mother was tending the shop. "Is your mother away again?" the detective asked as she made her way back to the delinquent's side after filling up her cup.

"Huh?" He shifted his gaze towards her while trying to flip the egg. "Yeah." Naoto watched as the delinquent rolled the food in the pan, her stomach empty. She looked around the kitchen once more, noticing that the taller boy wasn't using any cooking guides or books. 

"I guess if she was here, she'd be the one making food right now," he added as he poured more egg into the pan. "That, or she'd be asking us why we woke up so late." He paused for a second, tilting the pan to spread the egg. "Well, I mean, it's not like we were doing anything, uh," he stopped, probably too flustered to go on.

"R-right," Naoto replied, trying not to blush. The two stood there in an awkward silence as the egg in the square pan simmered on.

"But, y'know," Kanji started, breaking it, "I had fun, uh..." It was obvious that he was still a little flustered. "Staying up and, er..."

"I enjoyed your company, as well," Naoto said for him, noticing that he was having trouble with that last part.

"Yeah," the other first-year said, turning back towards the stove.

She could have told him, she told herself, she could have. Just those three words. She had already gotten one down; why couldn't she have said the other two? She meant it, she really did. And it was him that she meant it for. She had already said it countless times in her head, she knew; so why couldn't she say it out loud? She felt as though her heart was going to burst.

Looking up at the delinquent, they were close together again, but this time on their own accord. She could have chosen to step away, but she didn't. She wanted to stay this close to him. He, too, could have taken a bit of a step away, but he didn't.

That first night, in the hallway, he had smelt of smoke. The night after, he had smelt of dish soap. The next night was the smell of, well, bong water. And last night, she thought, though it wasn't exactly him, his bed had smelt of him. And now, although it's not exactly him, she could smell the omelette being made by him. All of those smells, she thought to herself, they were all him now. They are, and will always be, reminders of him from now on.

She wondered if he was thinking of her. She wondered if he thought of her. She wondered if he thought of her the same way she thought of him. No, she told herself, probably not. Why not? Because she was just some boyish girlish thing that no "real man" like Kanji would ever really want. Someone like Kanji, she thought, someone like him deserved the best. He deserved someone who had their life in order. He deserved someone who had their all of their, for lack of a better term, shit sorted out, someone who wasn't her. 

Naoto? Who's "Naoto"? Are they a child or adult? Girl or boy? Black or white? None, she thought to herself, she was none of them. She was all grey. Why would anyone have wanted her? She was just some mismatched doll unable to be sorted. She was just--

The detective's train of thought was interrupted when she felt the delinquent's lips upon her cheek. Her heart started to race and her stomach flew. Taking his lips away from her face, Kanji straightened back out in front of the stove. Naoto could feel her face start to heat up as she saw from her peripheral the other first-year's face becoming red as well.

"That was, uh," he started, still red. "That was for a lot of things. But, uh, it wasn't really for anything at the same time," he continued, obviously very flustered. "I mean-- uh, how do I put this," the taller boy said, turning the heat on the stove down and then bringing a hand up to the back of his head and clearly becoming even redder. "I know I didn't have to do it, or anything, but, uh, you also did a lot of stuff for me, and it would be kinda, er, nice? Uh, like, it would be a nice thing to do, y'know? But I know I didn't have to do it, so, uh, it wasn't forced or anything..." 

The detective just stood there, still trying to take in what had happened. "Look, uh, I guess what I'm trying to say is I wanted to do it? Yeah, that's it," he started again, seeming to be much more confident with his reasons. "I... wanted to do it."

Naoto still stood there, her heart still racing. It became silent again, but the detective didn't mind the awkwardness much as she was still in disbelief. She felt as though her heart was about to burst. 

Kanji looked back down at the omelette, seemingly a bit anxious. "Uh," he started. "The tamagoyaki's just about ready so, uh..." He looked over to Naoto, who was still standing there. "...you can sit down, if you want."

She nodded dumbly in response, her cheeks flaming. Walking over to the table, she looked down at the glass in her hands. The top of the water was rippling from the trembling of her hands. 

Stupid, she thought to herself, stupid, stupid, stupid. It was everything, just everything about it that was stupid. It was stupid how Kanji had tried to explain his reasoning behind his sudden action, not that Naoto had needed a reason anyway. It was stupid how she just stood there, like a fool and unable to do anything when his lips came in contact with her face. It was stupid how her train of thought had just completely shifted after that one act. And it was stupid, she knew, how hard she had fallen for him and how much she wanted him to do it again.

Sitting down at the table, she then took a deep breath. Still though, she told herself. He had kissed her. She didn't kiss him, or at least not this time, but he had kissed her. An embarrassed smile began to come over her face as she took a sip of water. Though it was only on the cheek, she still couldn't help but feel her heart pound.

As she took the glass away from her face, she looked back down at it. She wondered if this was how Kanji felt when she had kissed him. No, she then thought to herself, he couldn't have possibly felt this way, because he didn't feel the same way about her as she did with him.

She saw a familiar hand place the omelette on the table and looked up to see the other first-year's own flushed face. "Here you go," he mumbled as he pushed the plate to the middle of the table. "I'll, uh, I'll go get a couple of plates." The detective nodded dumbly as she watched the delinquent walk away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tamagoyaki, a.k.a some kind of japanese omelette?? it's kinda like scrambled egg omelette cake, in a way. i'd try to make some if egg wasn't one of my least favorite foods. and if i had the correct cookware.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> djhfd okay, alcohol and "mature dream" in this chapter, which is, in my opinion, really bad. like everything else about this fic. (there's still also some drug use and an emetophobia warning, i guess?? so if you don't like people throwing up, sorry about that.) oh, and sorry if my writing style seems to have completely shifted; reading ernest hemingway for 2+ weeks straight does things to my style of thinking and writing and whatever else.

Naoto barely heard what Kanji had said as he released his grip from her shoulder. All she knew was that he had left her to do something else. Making her way to find somewhere to sit, she tried to avoid many of the other wild teenagers clearly not quite as sober as law should allow. But, she thought to herself, if she made an exception, possibly that would put her on better terms with more of the first-years, especially the one she had fallen for. She then decided that, at least this night, she would be off duty.

"Naoto-kun! You made it!" The detective turned her attention towards the idol coming her way.

"Of course," she replied, almost with a groan. Rise sat down next to her on the couch, a bit too close for Naoto's comfort.

"Yeah," she began, taking a sip from the red cup in her hand. "I saw Kanji; he said that you'd probably be sitting down somewhere, since, like, parties aren't really your thing and all." 

"They aren't," retorted the detective, remembering the reason why she had come in the first place. Looking around at the rest of the chatting and partying high schoolers, now she really wanted to groan.

Rise giggled. "Well, you know, at least you have Moronji to stay with you. I'm sure he'd be more than willing to keep you occupied." She gave the detective a wink.

"Rise-san, please," Naoto started, turning red as she remembered the kiss he had given her in the morning. "Do you really think he'd bother with trying to keep my attention when there are so many other things he could be doing here?"

"I dunno," she stated, looking up at someone approaching the two. "You can ask him now." Naoto looked up as well to find the mentioned delinquent coming towards the two, a cup in each hand. 

"Uh, hey," Kanji said as he came up to the other two first-years.

"Hey," the idol said in response. Naoto gave a nod and hoped the lighting in the room wasn't good enough for the others to see the color of her cheeks. "I think," Rise started, standing up from her seat right next to the injured detective, "I can leave you two by yourselves."

"Wait," the first-year holding two drinks began, turning around as the idol made her way behind him. "What?"

"I kinda wanna go around and talk with some more people. I'll see you two later."

"Uh," Kanji started again, turning back around to Naoto as the idol walked out of sight. "What?"

The detective shook her head, letting out a sigh. "Rise is being Rise."

"Oh," the delinquent replied, starting to make his way towards the sofa. "Alright then." He sat down next to the shorter first-year, not quite as close as Rise had. Though, Naoto had to admit, she wouldn't have minded if he did. "Uh," he started as he turned towards the blushing detective. "Here." He handed her one of the drinks in his hands. 

"Oh, thanks," Naoto replied. Her heart thudded as she took the cup from his hand. She brought the cup up to her face to drink, almost as if she was trying to hide the blush across her cheeks.

It was silent between the two, save for the booming music and the other partying first-years. Naoto glanced towards the delinquent sitting next to her. He was looking down at the cup in his hands, swirling around the drink to wash the sides of the cup.

"So, uh," he began, looking up and turning his head towards the injured detective sitting next to him. She quickly turned away, trying to make it seem like she wasn't previously looking at him. "I guess you're probably just gonna be sitting here, huh?"

"Hm?" She turned back towards him. "Oh," she said, pretending as if she weren't paying attention to him as he sat next to her in half-silence. "I guess."

Kanji leaned backwards into the sofa, scratching the back of his head and looking away with a small scoff of laughter. "Jeez," he started, still looking away. 

Naoto looked down towards his stomach. It was flat. It was also, probably quite toned. The rest of his body too, she guessed, was probably quite toned as well, considering how well he did in battle physically and the few weights she had seen in his room. Her eyes quickly wandered over the rest of his body as he still looked away. Reluctantly admitting it, she did wonder what his body would have looked like underneath the layers of clothing.

She remembered the shape of his breathing form under the moonlight the night they had shared a bed. She had awoken a couple of times after they had said their "goodnight"s, Kanji asleep both times. The first time, she awoke to find herself facing him, his back towards her. He had a big back, and, to be honest, she thought it quite attractive, in a sense that made her become red at the thought. But the entirety of his build was a bit more lankier than it was thick. Probably because he was so tall. Being tall and having a good-looking back, she thought to herself; they were two qualities that, though she never thought about it before, she found to be very attractive. To be quite honest, she thought, his entire body was what she would have deemed "pleasing."

She would have wanted to known what it looked like, what it felt like. She wanted to run her palms over his stomach and chest. She wanted his body against hers, his skin against hers. Their bare stomachs touching, making contact. Their exposed thighs rubbing, creating friction. Their lusting lips exploring, tasting skin.

"Why did Rise even invite you if she knew you were just gonna sit here all night?" He turned towards her and she quickly shifted her eyes back up to his own, trying to push her previous thoughts out of her head. No, she thought to herself, this isn't the time to be thinking like that. Actually, she didn't think any time would be appropriate for that kind of mentality. She blushed as realized how embarrassing it was for her to be consumed by such things, especially now.

"I'm not sure," she replied. She then gave an aggravated sigh as she remembered the idol's blackmailing. Tomorrow, she decided, tomorrow she would hunt Rise down. "Rise is very..." She paused looking for a suitable way to describe the other first year that wouldn't cause any offense. "...Let's just say that she has her own way of doing things."

The taller boy let out a small laugh. "You got that right."

They spent quite some time talking about nothing in particular, mostly small talk and a bit of making fun of each other here and there. Several times Kanji would leave to meet with a few other friends and clearly come back less sober each time. Naoto would let it slide, partially because she had decided before that she would let most of the things at this party slide, but mostly because that one reason which she had let him go before-- the previous night in which she had broken her leg-- had become more apparent.

The later it became, Naoto noticed, the wilder the party became. She knew, well, she trusted that there wasn't anything in her drink after Kanji had told her that there wasn't. She had asked him when it was clear that he was a bit tipsy. He had said that he knew she wouldn't have wanted it, so he didn't bring any alcohol to her. He then realized, again, that she was part of the Inaba Police Department, became a bit panicked, and subsequently calmed down a bit after she told him that she was "off duty" that night and that she had wanted to enjoy being a high schooler in a high school party as well.

Even while Kanji wasn't as sober as law should have allowed, the two still chatted, and mostly,

joked around. Many of the few times that Kanji had left Naoto, Rise had come around, not quite as sober as well. Conversations between the delinquent and the detective were mostly about nothing in particular, but conversations with her and the idol had only been about one thing: her and Kanji. Though Naoto knew she shouldn't have been wishing this, she hoped that Rise was drunk enough that she could attempt to change the subject and the idol wouldn't have noticed so she wouldn't have teased Naoto about it even more. Unfortunately for her, she was intoxicated to the point that whenever the detective had tried to change the subject, the idol would take no notice of it and go on with "how many children she would be the godmother of." But she always made sure to stop talking about it whenever the taller boy came along.

On many occasions when Naoto was left by herself, a couple of other first-years, who clearly weren't sober, would come over to her and ask to borrow her crutches. And every time they had come, she would say the same thing. "No," she would say, "I'm afraid these aren't mine; I'm borrowing them." She knew that whatever they were going to do with them, it wouldn't have been safe.

There, too, were a couple of unexpected guests, Naoki Konishi being one of them. Naoto knew of him, but wasn't well acquainted. She first noticed him when there was a knock on the door. Sitting in the living room, she found it easy to see who was entering and leaving the party. She wasn't exactly paying attention to the door at the time, but when one of the not-so-sober first-years opened the door and let out a loud "EYY, IT'S KONISHI; WHERE'S THE LIQUOR AT, MAN?" she couldn't help but look over at the door.

"Really?" he said.

The first-year who opened the door laughed in response. "Naw, dude. I'm just kidding." He draped his arm around Naoki's shoulders and dragged him in. "But hey, we got drinks outside if you want any." He pointed to somewhere that was probably where the door to the backyard was.

"I think I'm fine. I've been around enough liquor helping out at the shop."

The other first-year snickered again. "Yeah." His attention then seemed to be caught on something else. "Oh man," he started. "I gotta go do something." He then removed his arm from around Naoki's shoulder. "I'll see you later," the first-year said as he stumbled away.

The lone first-year looked around for someone he possibly knew. He looked a lot like his sister, Naoto noted. It was probably their eyes, she guessed. Their hair, too. Naoki looked up at someone and gave a wave. It was probably someone he knew. Naoto looked over to who it was. It was Kanji. He had two drinks in his hands again, so she assumed that he was going to come over to her again before he saw Naoki. They exchanged and few words and sentences, and they seemed to be quite friendly with each other too, she noted. 

Compared to Kanji, Naoki was somewhat short. But, Naoto then thought, anyone would seem short next to him. She wondered how short she looked next to him. She knew that she was about the height of his chin, and Naoki was probably a bit taller than that. The height of his chin, she thought. That meant that, standing up straight, her eyes would meet the bottom of his neck, or possibly even his collarbones. Collarbones, she then thought. She usually saw them, with Kanji always wearing low-collared shirts and all. Now that she thought about it, his collarbones were also quite attractive, along with his neck. She wondered if it would still look attractive to her even if it were strained. Normally when strained or tensed, necks, and sometimes even the rest of the body, were either attractive or not. There was no in between, at least in her opinion. And she had yet to come across a visually pleasing strained neck. During battle, she remembered, whenever he had to use an amount of force that was much more than he usually used, his body would become tense or strained. But she never paid any attention especially to his neck then, so she was unable to tell what his neck would look like if it were tensed. She then thought of any situations outside of the TV that would allow her to see his body tensed. Lifting something heavy, possibly. No, she then said to herself. The chances of him straining himself over lifting something and her being close enough to see would be slim. And it would probably be a bit creepy as well. Or, she automatically thought, intercourse would be a good means of seeing his neck strained. She would definitely be close enough, and when the time came for him to orgasm, his body would most likely be tense. But then again, Naoto thought to herself, if she was a part of this as well, she probably wouldn't be paying much attention to his neck as much as she was paying attention to pleasing herself as well as pleasing Kanji--

No. She quickly caught herself and pushed those thoughts away. She looked back up and saw that the two were still chatting. She gave a sigh and slumped in her seat, looking away to keep her from continuing with that train of thought. She felt a body fall onto the area of the sofa next to her and saw that it was Kanji. She then quickly looked back up to where he was originally standing with Naoki and saw the shorter boy walking away.

"You're friends with Konishi?" she asked, looking back towards him. She took the cup he was handing to her.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I guess."

"I didn't think he was the type of person to come to these types of parties."

"I didn't either," he replied. 

Naoto didn't say anything. She was still trying to push her previous thoughts away.

"He said he came here 'cause he thought it would be nice to take a break from the shop and stuff. I know he's been working real hard ever since Souji-senpai and him started talking. You know Senpai; there's something about him that just...,"  he paused. "He's really just something else." The detective just nodded as the delinquent took another sip from his cup.

The second guest Naoto recognized just by the sound of his voice. 

"The party has only bear-ly started!"

She brought her palm up to her forehead as Kanji just said "Oh my fucking god."

"What the hell, Teddie?" she heard Rise say in another room, probably where Teddie himself was.

"Ooh, Rise-- Ouch!" Naoto heard him say and shortly after saw Rise walking with him, her hand pinching his ear, over to the front door.

"What the hell, Teddie?" she repeated as she let go of his ear. "What are you doing here?" She was clearly very mad.

"Why can't I be here?" he said.

"Because this party is for first-years only. First. Years. Only." Teddie grumbled and then looked away. He then made eye-contact with Naoto and suddenly she had wished that she had never looked in that direction.

"Nao-chan!" Teddie exclaimed as he made his way over to her and Kanji. She groaned as Kanji sighed. He came over and started talking to the two as if he had never heard what Rise said about him not being allowed at the party, or almost as if Rise had never even been mad at him and pulled him aside. It took a long while for the three first-years to somehow get Teddie out of the party, and by the time they had done so it was already quite late.

Naoto guessed that it was probably about time to leave when Rise and Kanji were already speaking nonsense and their speech was slurred. Their eyes looked very heavy as well. The idol drank much less than the delinquent had but she was a bit more intoxicated than he was; Naoto assumed that it was because she had less experience with drinking, possibly. It was very, very late when Rise had left, with another friend, and it was even later when Naoto and Kanji had left. She didn't know how Rise would make it without telling her grandmother what she had been drinking and how much she drank, but her mind was focused more on the problem of Kanji and how she was supposed to get him home.

At first, he was reluctant to leave and reluctant to admit that he was drunk, but after he stood up to get another drink, he quickly fell over on top of the detective and came to the conclusion that he was less sober, much less sober, than he had originally told himself he was. 

\---

"Damn," Kanji muttered as he struggled through the door to his room, sloppily draped around Naoto's sore shoulders. After much struggling and stumbling the two had finally made it back home in one piece. Making it over to her bed, she steadied the delinquent as he swayed by placing her hand over his stomach. She turned pink realizing that her hand was over his stomach, and it really was quite fit-feeling. His hand was around her waist like when she had first broken her leg and he was helping her get through the front door, but this time it was her helping him get through his own bedroom doorway. His hand still made her feel somewhat protected and, along with her hand against his stomach, it also made her feel like she could protect him. It was big and it felt warm against her waist, and it made her feel at a loss when he let go as they got closer to the bed.

She tried lowering him onto the bed but he fell too quickly and he quickly grabbed her again out of instinct as one does do whenever the feeling of falling is there. But when he grabbed her this time, his hand was in a different place . Instead of around her waist it was over her "derrière," as Rise sometimes called it to sound "fancy." 

She quickly became very red, wanting to push him away and possibly smack his arm out of embarrassment. Also because it was defiling her chaste space, but she didn't because she knew that, being drunk, he couldn't help it. Also partially because she, reluctant to admit it, liked his hand there as well. 

Very carefully lowering him onto the bed this time, she felt his hand slide across and she became even more red, but when he was finally secure from falling and fully on the bed, she let go of him and his warm stomach. He was sitting up on top of his bed, so there was enough room on the foot of his bed for her to sit. She took a deep breath and finally relaxed after sitting down. Looking over at Kanji, his head was in his hands and she could hear him muttering to himself.

"Freakin' crazy," he started. His face was still pink. "My head hurts like fucking hell."

Naoto snorted. "That's your fault for drinking so much."

He groaned as flipped himself over and pushed his head into his pillows. "Whatever," she heard his muffled voice say. 

She grinned and couldn't help but blush. She didn't really care all that much if he saw her blush now because he probably wouldn't remember it in the morning. She looked away and around his room as Kanji kept muttering and groaning into his pillow. The noises he was making stopped when she then heard him rummaging through a drawer in his nightstand. Quickly looking back towards him, she saw him with another blunt and a lighter in his hand.

"Kanji-kun!" she started, shocked. She didn't exactly know why she was shocked because she should have expected it, but she was.

"What?" he said as he put the blunt up his mouth and lit it.

"Are you kidding me?" she asked, still shocked, and a bit dumbfounded at the stupidity of his decisions. "Do you really think that's something you should be doing while you're drunk?"

He shrugged in response as he pulled the smoking object away from his mouth and blew. She still stared at him in disbelief, wondering if she should just leave the room and be done with it all or stay with him and, well, just stay with him.

"Oh shit," he suddenly said a few seconds later, quickly putting his blunt down and getting up off of the bed. "I think I'm gonna be sick." He briskly ran out of the room and made it for some other room in the hallway. She heard the clicking of the restroom lights and the clanking of toiled bowl porcelain against toilet bowl porcelain. She then subsequently heard a retching sound coming most likely from Kanji. 

She gave a sigh and by this time, she really just wanted to leave, but she didn't. All in all, she had to admit, it was actually somewhat fun being around Kanji like this. He did dumb things, and she would be able to laugh at those dumb things, but in a way it was also like when he wasn't drunk. He still did dumb things and she still laughed at those dumb things, but this time she was able to blush without being embarrassed and though he probably wouldn't be able to remember it, she was able to help him and actually be the one keeping him safe from harm or injury. It was a short while later when she heard the retching stop and the sink water run and then the restroom lights click off. At that time, she didn't know whether to get up and help him across the hallway or stay there if he said that that he didn't need help getting to his own room, but after she heard the first bang against the wall she decided he probably would have needed her help.

After getting Kanji over to his bed the second time with her hand over his chest and his hand around her waist again, Naoto came to the realization that protecting Kanji as he protected her was something that she would want to do even if he would not realize it the next morning or even if he did not want to be in the situation where he would not remember it the next morning.

"Fuck," he groaned again as he laid face down into the pillows on top of his bed. "That wasn't supposed to happen."

Naoto snorted as she sat back down on the foot of his bed. She looked around the room once more as Kanji still grumbled into his pillows. She noticed that the blunt was still smoking and the smell of smoke in the air was very heavy. She then looked up at the window and, seeing that it wasn't open, got up to open in. The delinquent turned over onto his side and looked up from his pillow and his eyes followed her around his bed as she went to open his window.

"Oh," he said, his gaze still following her as she sat back down on the foot of his bed after opening his window. "Thanks."

"Don't worry about it," she said in response. He was still looking at her and she tried not to look back and make eye contact with him. She was starting to become very red as well.

"You know," Kanji started again. "I think you're a lot like Ma."

"Er," Naoto replied, not knowing how to take what he just said. "I... What?" He must have been a lot more drunk than she had originally thought. 

"No, uh," he continued, probably as confused as she was with that last statement. "I mean, you're really nice to me." Naoto still looked at him, a bit confused. "Okay, uh, you do all these things for me, and you do them even though I'm like this;" he swallowed, "even though I'm me." She could see that he was struggling with the right words to use. "I know Ma doesn't make fun of me and laugh at me like you do, but when you do, it's the good kind of laughing and making fun of me. Like..." He trailed off, getting flustered and still struggling. He shifted his body so he was laying face up and his head was resting on his pillow, his face staring up at the ceiling. Naoto was still looking at him.

"It's like you're making fun of my flaws and who I am but by doing that you're also acknowledging them and also accepting them at the same time? I don't know." She didn't say anything, but she listened to him like when he listened to her that one night when she had broken her leg and she had seen him get high for the first time. She could tell that even though he was drunk, he was being as serious and sincere as he could be with what he was saying and it was all genuine and it was almost as if he was not drunk at all. "But don't get me wrong. I totally wouldn't fuck my mom." Almost.

"What?"

"No, uh," he began, looking up at her, and after seeing that she was looking at him with a very confused look on her face, turned himself over again so that his back was facing towards her and his face was turned away from her. "I mean..." She could see that the tips of his ears were turning pink. "I'd fuck you. But only if you'd want me to." Her own face was turning a hot pink. "Well, actually, it's more like, uh, we could kiss and touch and stuff... Uh... Or we could just hold hands if you'd want..." Naoto was now blushing even harder, and she could tell that Kanji was too. "Or we could just stand next to each other or, hell, we could stand as far away from each other as possible if that'd be fine with you." She was still very confused and it seemed that he was that way too. She didn't know if it was just the alcohol talking or it was the alcohol letting him talk, but she just sat at the foot of his bed and kept on listening."I mean," he started, seeming to be a bit more sure of what he was going to say. "I'd do things with you. I'd do things that I'd never do with anybody else, if that was what you wanted? Uh, I would do them... and I'd want to do them...? Er, yeah, we could do everything but also we could do nothing, if you're happy with that." She started to understand, she thought, just a little bit, and maybe she could say that she knew the feeling as well.

"Look," he began again, now finding the right words. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that you treat me a lot nicer than what people like you are supposed to treat people like me? And you do so many things for me, and a lot of those things I feel like I don't deserve and I don't know why you do them, but you keep on doing them and I want to do so many things for you but I don't know what to do and I'm afraid that I'll do something wrong, something that you won't like, and I'm afraid that you won't feel the same way." He was looking back up at the ceiling now and his face was very serious. He swallowed and it seemed to Naoto that his voice was a bit shaky. "I'm afraid that you won't feel the same way as I do, and I'm afraid you never will."

Naoto was looking at him and she could feel her heart beating in her chest and she didn't know what to say or what to do other than to keep on listening to him.

"And I know," he continued. "I know that being afraid of what others think of you isn't something that you're supposed to be afraid of, but I'm still afraid. I'm scared and I'm afraid but I still try and I don't think that I will stop trying and I know that that seems like a dumb thing to do, but..." Kanji stopped, still looking up and not looking at Naoto even though she wanted him to look at her and she wanted to tell him that it was all right and he didn't need to be afraid anymore. She knew how he felt and she felt the same way and maybe she even felt a little more but as long as he liked her, even just a little bit, she knew it was enough. But he was still looking up.

"...but I guess you could say that I'm a dumb person who doesn't deserve someone as smart and as nice as you, so I guess I'll keep doing dumb things and I'll keep trying to make you laugh. But I guess as long as you're happy and you're laughing... That's good enough for me." 

She wanted to tell him that he didn't need to try anymore and he didn't have to be scared, but she couldn't tell him. She wanted to but she couldn't and she never felt more at a loss in her entire life. 

"And I know I'm not the smartest and I forget a lot of things...," he paused. He was still looking up at the ceiling with a very serious face and she knew that whatever he was going to say he meant it and it was something that she would have wanted to hear and that when she heard it she could also hear her heart beating in her chest and it was more than it had ever beat in her entire life. "...but I never, ever forget that I love you very much."

She stared at him for a long while and he didn't look down at her, but she didn't care. There was only one thing that was going on in her body, and that was her heart beating, and there was only one thing going on in her mind, and that was what he just said, but it was all still too much for her.

Standing up, she saw that Kanji was still staring at the ceiling, his face still very serious and she didn't know what was going on in his mind. She wondered if he would remember all of this in the morning and didn't know if she would have wanted him to. He probably wouldn't. 

She looked down at the floor and she saw her legs, one of them broken and casted. She looked back up at him and she walked over to the head of the bed, over to him. She bent over and placed one of her hands over his warm chest. Still bent over, she could smell smoke and alcohol and she could feel a breeze come in through his window. She didn't know if he would remember it and she didn't know if there would ever be a time where they would have another chance like this so she pushed herself forward and her lips came in contact with his cheek once more. He still smelt of smoke and alcohol. When she moved her head back and her lips left the surface of his cheek she could see that his face was still serious, but it was also pink. She didn't know if that was because of the alcohol or because of the kiss, but she blushed as well.

She looked back down at the floor and she saw her legs again, one of them still casted. She remembered Kanji helping her with it and she remembered his hand around her waist. She remembered feeling protected and she remembered feeling warm. She remembered her own hand over him and she remembered feeling like she could protect him. She wanted to keep him safe but she also wanted to do everything with him and she just wanted to be with him and when she realized this she said to him "I love you too."

Naoto knew that the word "love" wasn't a word that was able to be thrown around like it was nothing, but she didn't throw it around like it was nothing because she meant it. She truly did.

Not knowing what to do now, she moved herself away from Kanji and turned around. It was silent and the room still smelt of smoke. Making her way to the door, she turned back around. He was still laying in bed. She looked back up to the still barely lit and barely smoking blunt and up to the open window where she felt another breeze again.

"Don't forget to close your window when you're done. I don't want you to get sick." Kanji still didn't say anything but she was sure that he heard. "Goodnight, Kanji," she said. She then limped out the door. 

On her way to her room, she then gave a sigh, knowing that that was three steak-croquettes worth of yen out of her pocket.

\---

It was a dream, she knew. It was all a dream. She also blamed it on whatever was in the drink that Kanji gave her, even though there probably wasn't anything in it. She was just looking for excuses.

It started when she was at the Junes food court and she was in the middle of a conversation between her, Rise, Yukiko, and Chie. Their mouths were moving and she knew what they were saying, but there was no noise. 

In soundless words, Rise had asked Naoto if she had ever loved anybody. The detective wanted to say "yes" but all that she did was shake her head as if to say "no." Chie then said that she ought to love someone and Naoto wanted to say that she did love someone and that someone was Kanji, but suddenly she got up from the table and she was in front of her apartment. There was a man standing in front of it and in soundless words as well, he told her that she couldn't go in. She went in anyway. 

Instead of the inside of her apartment, she was inside Kanji's home. She looked down and her leg was casted and then she looked up and she was inside of Kanji's room. It smelled like smoke  and fabric softener and Kanji was there too. He wasn't drunk or high but it still smelled like smoke and the window was open. Naoto wanted to tell him when Rise asked her if she loved anybody she didn't mean to shake her head. She wanted to tell him that she meant to tell Rise she loved him and there were no words coming out of her mouth like the other girls except it didn't seem like he could hear her because he didn't say anything in return but his eyes looked at her with understanding and maybe he did hear her. He had a pair of crutches in his hands and he was handing them to Naoto, but when she took them they weren't crutches. Instead they were a cup and it was a red plastic cup and suddenly she was at Rise's friend's party. 

Kanji wasn't in front of her and the drink in her hand wasn't in her hand anymore and she was looking around for a place to sit. She didn't see Naoki or Teddie and she began to wonder where they were until suddenly, she heard something drop in another room. Quickly turning around, she was in the kitchen of Kanji's house. Kanji was crouching on the floor sweeping shards into a pile when Naoto came over next to him. She noticed that he smelled like fabric softener and dish soap as her heart was beating in her chest. She put her hand on his back and his shirt was wet and he also smelled like bong water and suddenly they were outside. 

It was night time and she was slowly bringing her lips away from his face. But this time, instead of on the cheeks, she had kissed him on the lips. She looked at his face and into his eyes and they were serious and he was serious and they began to kiss again. Their kissing became more rough and more intimate and their hands began to explore. She felt his chest and his stomach as he began to trail his kisses along her neck and her collarbone. She could feel his warm hands around her waist and she felt one of his hands over her "derrière" and it felt so good being free and being able to explore and she felt at a loss when he stopped kissing her neck and his hands stopped exploring but instead of exploring they were over and in front of her hips and they were trying to get her belt buckle loose. It was taking a while for him to do it so she brought her own hands down there and, even for her, it took a while. But finally they got it off and Kanji didn't need any help with his pants because he had already given them to her but she thought it was a bit strange because she didn't know that sweats needed a belt but she soon pushed the thought away when she felt his lips nipping and sucking over her neck again.

It was a shame, though, because the moment Kanji had slipped his hand under her pants and into her underwear, Naoto awoke with a start. But she wasn't really awake because she could smell smoke as she turned onto her side to see the silhouette of Kanji sleeping under the moonlight.

She quickly "fell back asleep" again, though, and the next thing she knew, she was looking into Kanji's eyes again. He was shirtless and pantless and he was naked and so was she. He was on top of her and in between her legs and inside of her all at once and every breath that they drew was heaven. 

A large hand was over her breast and he was breathing heavily into the crook of her neck. Her own chest was red with lines and imprints of her bindings and for each imprint and impression that Kanji rubbed away with his warm and protective hands, it was him rubbing away all of her self-doubts and insecurities about herself.

Their bodies were pressed up against each other and they moved in harmony and in time with one another. She could see his neck but she didn't care anymore. The guilt inside of her was on par with how good it all felt, but she didn't want it to stop. She didn't want any of it to stop. She wanted to stay in love with him, and she wanted him to stay in love with her.

In the morning, the detective woke up with the guilt and pleasure she had felt in her dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the dream, i actually kinda wanted to do a whole bunch of dream analysis symbolization junk, but i was too lazy, so i just did a whole bunch of whatever and, well, it seems like Naoto's the one doing drugs here.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry i haven't updated in forever. school has been hell. also, sorry this is such a short update. like i said, school has been hell

"Christ," Naoto could hear Kanji mutter as he walked into the kitchen. His hand was over his head and she could tell that he was still having trouble walking.

"Good morning, Kanji," she said as he came over to the table, his head still in his hands. She began to blush again as she remembered last night, then hoped that he wouldn't look up from his monstrous headache to see her blush. 

He grumbled something, which the detective took as a "good morning" back, and took a seat.

"Your head feels no different than last night, I suppose?" she said, pushing her mug of tea over to him.

He grumbled again; she took that as a "yes." Kanji looked down at the mug which was recently pushed over to his side of the table, then up at the detective with an expression of mild confusion.

"You can have it; I didn't drink any yet," she said, still looking at him.  His expression didn't change in the slightest. She quickly looked away after sharing eye-contact for a bit longer, trying not to blush. "...and you seem to need it more than I do."

"Oh." He took the mug from her, seeming to be a bit flushed as well. She assumed it was because of his embarrassment of his hangover, or her giving him something of hers because of it. "Thanks." Kanji lifted up the tea to his face and drank while Naoto looked back up towards him. His gaze was still focused on the tea, his face still a bit pink. The detective could tell he had something on his mind.

She wondered if he remembered any of last night. No, she thought to herself, probably not. He would have said something the moment he came into the room. Maybe something like "I didn't mean it," or maybe "I was drunk; it was the alcohol." Yes, those responses made the most sense. But still, he didn't say anything yet. Maybe he would say something after he was done drinking?

Naoto's attention quickly snapped back onto the other first-year as he set the mug down. He was about to say something; Naoto could feel it. She braced herself for rejection.

"You know, I had the weirdest dream last night."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, uh..." Kanji trailed off. It was strange. Naoto wanted to feel relief; she did, but there was more of a sinking feeling covering it up. He didn't exactly "reject" her by saying that his feelings were false, but instead, it was another kind of rejection. 

"It was really, really weird..." He was looking down now, a hand against the back of his head. "But the weirdest thing is..." He looked back up towards her. "I don't even think I remember most of it."

The detective then remembered her own dream, except she remembered most, if not all, of this one. "Er, same here..." she said, not knowing why she did. Her face was turning a hot pink. This was bad; she quickly looked away, wanting to hide, hoping that he wouldn't notice her reddening. She was still thinking about her dream, trying to push it out of her mind. But it was of no avail. 

He laughed and she quickly looked back up at him, hoping it wasn't because of the color of her face. "Man," he jokingly started, "what was in those drinks?"

She gave a hidden sigh of relief, then looked back up at him with a raised eyebrow. "We drank different things, Kanji."

"Yeah, well," he started. She could see that he was struggling with a comeback. "Whatever."

Maybe she was happy that he didn't remember what had happened the previous night? She didn't know. If he didn't, then they could probably stay like this; they could still joke around like this. If he did mean what he said, then they could still probably be like this, too, she thought. But there was only a chance that he meant what he said, a slim chance. If he did remember, and he didn't feel that way, then it probably would have been better if Naoto never came to stay with him in the first place. But it wasn't really like she had a choice.

"What was your dream about?" Kanji asked her, taking another sip of his, previously her, tea.

If Naoto herself was drinking that tea, she would have spit it all out. "Oh, I-- uh," she began, becoming flustered, very, very flustered. She had to find a way out of this, she had to. There was no way she was going to tell him about-- No, she shouldn't even be thinking about it right now. "I, er, I don't really remember much myself..." Good, Shirogane. That's the way to go.

"Oh, okay." the two lapsed into silence for a short while as Kanji took another sip of his tea.

"Do remember any of your dream, any at all?" she asked, not really knowing why. Maybe she was trying to pick the conversation back up again, or maybe it was because she really wanted him to try and remember last night.

"Well, uh," he started. She could see he was starting to become a little pink. "I think I said something to you?"

She stared back at him. Catching her gaze, he quickly looked away.

"I mean," he started again, "you were in my dream."

"Oh, I see." Her heart was starting to beat again.

"Yeah," he said. "And I'm pretty sure I said some things to you that I'd never say, like, in 'real life.'"

"Oh." Now her heart was sinking again. "So... Whatever you said, if you said it in 'real life,' it would be a lie?" She didn't know why she was going on. He didn't feel that way about her, and that was that. It was the alcohol talking, it was a lie, and it was all too good to be true. He was drunk, he didn't mean it, and he didn't love her. Her heart was sinking, until Kanji said something else.

"Well, actually, uh," he started, looking back up at the detective. She could see his face was reddening as well. "I guess I did mean it? But it was a dream, y'know? So, I guess, it's something that I'd mean... But I'd never say it."

She just looked at him. "Like, uh, if  I told Rise that her shoes clashed with her skirt, yeah? I'd mean it, but if I said it, she'd probably throw a fit or something and ask me why I didn't tell her when she bought them. And then I'd have to say something like 'I wasn't there when you bought those shoes; don't blame it on me,' y'know?"

Naoto was still staring. "And then we'd get into this huge argument, except it's obvious that it's not my fault, so there'd be, like, no point."

"I... Er," she started. "So, whatever you said to me, you wouldn't say it now because there would be no point in you saying it?"

"I guess?" he said, scratching his head. "But in my dream, I guess there was a point, 'cause you said the same thing right back to me, but I know you'd never say that in real life, so there's not really any point there either."

"I see," she said back to him. Her heart was starting to beat again, but there was still the chance that he really did forget what had happened the previous night, and what he was talking about really was a dream. "So, what did you say?"

"Oh, I-- uh," he started, becoming even redder. "... There's not really any point in me saying it, so, uh..." He let out a nervous laugh. "Yeah..."

"Oh," she started again. "Is there... Anything else you remember?" she said, trying to get more out of him.

"Uh, I'm not sure...," he mumbled, looking down. "I forget a lot of things."

Naoto's heart started to pound again as she remembered that that was what he had said the previous night; that, and the exception of how he never forgot how much he-- No, she shouldn't be thinking thinking of those things, she thought to herself. She didn't have the evidence that he really meant it. There was still a chance that he didn't.

"Wait, hey," he started again. "What exactly happened last night? After the party, I mean."

"Oh, er," she started. He really must have not remembered anything. "We came home and I helped you to your room." Should she tell him? She still didn't know. No, she then thought. If she did, that would make things awkward for them. 'You told me that you loved me, I kissed you on the cheek, I told you that I loved you back.' How would he respond to that, especially if he didn't really feel that way? She'd rather be friends than be a rejected lover. 

"Oh."

"You also threw up."

"What?"

The detective snickered. "You decided to smoke one last time before going to bed. It wasn't that great of a decision on your part."

"I... I did?"

She nodded. "I opened your window as well."

"Oh," he began. "I guess that's why the window was open this morning."

Naoto brought her hand up to her forehead. "I told you to close it last night, when you were done."

"Oh," he said again. "I guess I forgot."

"It wasn't too cold, then?"

He shrugged. "Guess not."

The silence lapsed in again. It probably was a dream then, she thought. If he didn't remember any of that, then he probably wouldn't have remembered anything after.

"Hey," Kanji started again, breaking the silence. "Your apartment's done being fixed or whatever soon, right?"

"Oh, that's right," the shorter first-year said. She could almost feel that sinking feeling coming back.

"So, you'll be heading back later today?"

"That's correct."

Kanji looked away, still gripping the mug. "Man, this week was really weird."

Naoto smiled and looked away as well. "I suppose so."

They lapsed into silence again. The detective remembered when she was first staying here. It was awkward, extremely awkward. Now, she didn't want to leave. 

It was pretty clichéd, she thought. But just because it was, it didn't mean that her feelings were a joke. She meant it, every word of what she said. She hoped that he did too.

"Well," the delinquent started again, looking back towards her. "You can keep my crutches, if you want."

"Really?" she replied, looking back towards him.

"Yeah, if I'd ever need them again, I guess I could just ask for them back, right?" he said with a small laugh.

"Who said that I'd ever want to give them back?" the detective replied sarcastically.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm quite sure Rise-san would want to use your crutches as well; you saw how fond she was of them, hobbling all over the roof and all."

"Yeah, sure," he sarcastically said back, placing the mug down on the table and standing up. He brought his arms over his head in a stretch and turned towards her. "I think I'm gonna shower or something. Maybe that'll help get rid of this damn headache." He looked away once more and then back towards her. "You can wash your clothes here too, if you want."

"Oh," she said. "Alright, then." Her eyes followed him as he turned around and began to walk out of the room. Once he was out of sight, Naoto turned away.

Was she just going to leave without saying anything? She would just go back to her original life, with him not remembering anything about the previous night? She didn't know. She wanted to know. She wanted to know if he meant it, but she was afraid of the answer. She was afraid of life after the answer. Would they still be friends? Would they still be able to have fun? would they be something more, or would they be something less? She didn't know. She felt like she never knew, and she would never know.

She looked back down towards her, or Kanji's, half-empty mug of tea. She was somewhat parched, she thought. Could she... Drink some of his tea? It was only Kanji, she thought, and it previously belonged to her, but since it was him, would it have been weird? She liked him, she knew that, but she wasn't going to drink it because she did. She was only somewhat thirsty, so making an entire mug of tea would be a waste. Or maybe she should just dump the rest and be done with it. No, she then thought. Maybe he would come back and finish it? Again, no, he probably wouldn't. She didn't know, even when it came to petty situations like this.

Walking through the hallway to her room, the detective could hear the shower running in the bathroom. Remembering that Mrs. Tatsumi was still away, she assumed Kanji was probably still showering as she swallowed the dryness in her mouth. She wondered if she should have drank the tea instead of pouring it down the drain. 

Opening the door to her room and hobbling in, she heard a clatter of most likely shampoo and soap bottles and a loud curse coming from the restroom. She snorted to herself and smiled as she shut the door.

Coming over to the couch and sitting down, she could still hear the shower running through the walls. Kanji was taking a longer time in the shower than usual, but that was more than likely because of his condition. She decided that she should take a shower as well, when he was done, of course. 

She'd use her own shampoo and soap, like she always did. It would be a bit bizarre if she used Kanji's; she might end up smelling a bit like him. Not that his smell was anything bad, of course. It was just that if someone somehow noticed, maybe they would get the wrong idea, not that Naoto wouldn't have liked that idea.

It was only a little while later when the detective heard the running water shut off. She could only barely imagine the delinquent dripping wet and reaching for a towel. That, of course, also meant he was "not fully clothed" as well. A blush came to her face as she tried not to push the image of Kanji, his hair damp and dripping, steam from his recent shower cloaking his toned figure, and wearing nothing-- save for a towel, out of her mind. She turned over and buried her red face into the nearest pillow on the couch as well. She then wondered how he would have smelled like, maybe like those soaps and shampoos that she might or might not have wanted to smell like as well, and then pushed her face even harder against the pillow after realizing that her recent thoughts weren't helping.

Her burying her face into her pillow was suddenly interrupted when her phone rang from on top of the coffee table. Quickly looking up from her pillow, she grabbed her phone.

> One Message:  
>  Rise Kujikawa

Just after reading the name, Naoto wanted to groan. She didn't want to talk to Rise; not now, not ever. All she knew was that whatever it was the idol was going to say, Naoto was probably going to regret looking at the message.

She did.

> [11:48] Rise Kujikawa: urghh TT-TT my head hurts like hell x=_=  
>  [11:49] Rise Kujikawa: wat even happened last nite?  
>  [11:49] Naoto Shirogane: Do you really not remember?  
>  [11:49] Rise Kujikawa: uhh i kinda do but its all kinda just a blur u kno >_>  
>  [11:49] Naoto Shirogane: Well, unlike you and Kanji, I didn't drink.  
>  [11:50] Rise Kujikawa: o shoot!!! i think im starting to remember some stuff now  
>  [11:50] Rise Kujikawa: Teddie was there rite???  
>  [11:50] Naoto Shirogane: I remember you yelling at him for coming, so yes.  
>  [11:50] Rise Kujikawa: WTF how did i even get home  
>  [11:50] Naoto Shirogane: Don't ask me  
>  [11:50] Naoto Shirogane: I have as much an idea of it as you do.  
>  [11:51] Rise Kujikawa: urrghghhhh  
>  [11:51] Rise Kujikawa: wait hey  
>  [11:51] Naoto Shirogane: ?  
>  [11:51] Rise Kujikawa: how did u and ur bf get home ^_~~~  
>  [11:52] Naoto Shirogane: I'm not going to answer that.

The detective then put her phone down, not even giving it a second glance after it rang a first, second, third, and a few other times after the first year stopped counting, or caring.

\---

"So, I guess this is goodbye, right?"

The detective looked up at the taller first-year, standing next to the balcony rail in front of her unit and holding her bags. The scorching heat from the midday sun beat down on the two.

"Uh," he started again, realizing he could have worded his previous statement better. "I mean, I guess you won't be, uh, 'living' with us anymore."

"I suppose," Naoto said with a small snort. She turned back around after grabbing her apartment keys out of her pocket. Unlocking her door, she didn't exactly know how she was supposed to feel. Melancholic, maybe. But that was a bit too strong of a word for what she felt. Maybe just sad. Maybe not even that.

After hearing that familiar clinking, she slowly opened the door. It looked pretty much the same as she left it; papers from work and school in random piles, various plates and dishes piled up next to the sink. The only place they really had to go through was the restroom, so she wasn't exactly worried about any of her other things being misplaced. 

"Huh, so this is what the inside of your little cave looks like," she heard the delinquent say as he stuck his head next to hers, looking at whatever she was looking at.

She snorted with a small grin and pulled her head back out of her apartment. Kanji followed.

"These are yours," the taller boy said as the detective turned around, handing her the bags in his hands.

Naoto placed her crutches leaning against a nearby wall and took the bags, placing them in the open doorway of her apartment.

"Well, uh," Kanji started again as Naoto turned back around. Naoto looked back up to see Kanji's face. Their eyes met for a brief moment, and Kanji quickly turned away again. Naoto wished he hadn't.

"I guess I'll see you Monday, right?" he mumbled, still looking away.

The detective still looked at him. She didn't know.

She didn't know how she was supposed to feel and she didn't know how she felt. She didn't know what was going to happen. She didn't know if he was going to remember. She didn't know if what he said was the truth. She didn't know if what he said was a lie. She didn't know if he would remember tomorrow. She didn't know if he would remember in a week. She didn't know if he was ever going to remember. 

She just wanted him to look at her. She wanted him to be close to her again. She wanted to smell the laundry detergent and the soap and the smoke on his skin. She wanted him to make her laugh like he always did. She wanted to sit on the couch next to him and watch a movie or maybe just talk while he drank. She wanted to walk next to him on the road going to school and she wanted to eat lunch next to him. She wanted him to hold her outside under the night sky while everyone else in the neighborhood went back to their houses. She wanted him to be drunk and high and she wanted to tell him how much he meant to her. She wanted him to kiss her and she wanted to kiss him back. She wanted him to remember. 

Except she didn't know what to do.

"I...," she began, looking away from him as he was still looking away, "I suppose."


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (EDIT: last chapter. i also said that i'd try to write more (which did not turn out too well lmao))

Naoto stared at the digital clock beside her television set. It shone a bright red "1:32."

She couldn't sleep. Almost an hour ago, she decided to sleep, and for almost an hour, she lay tossing and turning, unable to take her mind off of all the events which had passed the past week. 

It didn't make sense. She thought about it, over and over. Coming to his house. Being helped through his front door by him. Watching him smoke. Standing outside in the nighttime summer heat with him. Giving him a kiss on the cheek. Eating with him and his mother. Being asked if she was in love with him. Kneeling next to him with a dry lump in her throat. Being sent pictures of her sitting side-by-side with him. Seeing him drink. Seeing him get drunk. Helping him get home. Seeing him smoke again. Listening to him talk. Hearing him tell her that he loved her. It didn't make sense how any of these made her love him. 

But of course, she told herself, it wasn't these things that made her love him. It was Kanji himself that she loved. It was Kanji himself that made her love him. His own actions, his own characteristics, his own self. Not the shattered cup on the floor, nor the smoke he breathed, nor the alcohol in his drink. It was him, and him alone. 

Turning over, she suddenly grabbed her phone, looking for some way to take her mind off of him. She scrolled through her contacts, through her messages. The only "real" conversations she had ever had were between her and Rise, or her and Kanji himself. Out of some kind of unknown desire, she opened up the messages sent between the two. She read through them and her heart raced.

Remembering that night, she wondered if they would ever stay up late with each other again like that, if they would ever enjoy each other's company like that, if they would ever be so close again. Her heart ached and knew the answer was probably no, but she wished for it anyway. 

She checked the time again. 1:35. She looked back at her phone, wondering if she should just put it down, if she should try to get some sleep again and not think about what could have happened. How she could have asked him about the previous night and how she could have told him about it. 

Looking back down, she saw her phone was still open to the messages she and Kanji had sent each other. She could even tell him right now if she wanted to. Maybe he was asleep. He probably was. Maybe he didn't like her the way she liked him and whatever he had said the previous night, it wasn't true. It probably was. It was right then when she felt her phone suddenly vibrate and her heart stop in its place.

A sudden message popped up in the place where the last thing Kanji had sent her was.

> [1:36] Kanji Tatsumi: Are you awake?

The detective stared at the message, unsure if she was awake, unsure if this was some kind of dream. No, she told herself, it was undeniably, undoubtedly, and unquestionably real.

She remembered that night again. She remembered the words they shared, just a few texts up and she would be reading through that conversation again in her phone. Unknowingly, a small grin came across her face.

> [1:37] Naoto Shirogane: No.

She waited for his reply.

> [1:37] Kanji Tatsumi: I really doubt that, Naoto.  
>  [1:38] Naoto Shirogane: You're the one who asked.  
>  [1:38] Kanji Tatsumi: Are you making fun of me?  
>  [1:38] Kanji Tatsumi: If you keep copying me, I could sue you for copyright infringement  
>  [1:38] Kanji Tatsumi: Or whatever the hell people do to other people who copy them.  
>  [1:39] Naoto Shirogane: If you sued me, I'd probably have to live with you again  
>  [1:39] Naoto Shirogane: Permanently.  
>  [1:39] Kanji Tatsumi: That's fine by me.  
>  [1:39] Naoto Shirogane: Really?  
>  [1:40] Naoto Shirogane: Then I'd probably be taking your bed.  
>  [1:40] Naoto Shirogane: It's a lot more comfortable than I thought it would be.  
>  [1:40] Kanji Tatsumi: Hey, that's fine by me too.  
>  [1:40] Kanji Tatsumi: Just as long as you do the dishes too.  
>  [1:41] Naoto Shirogane: Excuse me?   
>  [1:41] Naoto Shirogane: I already keep you out of enough trouble as it is.  
>  [1:41] Naoto Shirogane: You should just be content with the fact that I'm already staying with you.  
>  [1:41] Kanji Tatsumi: Fine, whatever.  
>  [1:41] Kanji Tatsumi: You just have to do all the hard shit  
>  [1:42] Kanji Tatsumi: Like bills and taxes and all that crap.  
>  [1:42] Naoto Shirogane: Deal.  
>  [1:42] Kanji Tatsumi: Really?  
>  [1:42] Naoto Shirogane: Yes, really.  
>  [1:43] Naoto Shirogane: But you're still not suing me.  
>  [1:43] Kanji Tatsumi: Damn.

The smile on the detective's face was still there. She could feel her eyes growing heavy, but now she didn't want to sleep.

> [1:44] Kanji Tatsumi: But, uh, anyway

After reading the text, Naoto noticed that the delinquent was taking a longer time to type out his response than usual.

> [1:44] Kanji Tatsumi: I was kinda wondering if you, uh, I dunno,

The detective stared at her phone screen, unsure of what he was going to say, unsure of what she should brace herself for.

> [1:44] Kanji Tatsumi: If you kinda maybe wanted to catch a movie with me or something sometime?

She stared at the sent message. She read it over again. She stared at it again. Feeling her heart speeding up, she readied her hands to type out a reply. Except she didn't know what to say. She could feel her palms becoming clammy as she thought of the idea of seeing a movie with him. Sure, they already saw one together before, but that was only at his house. As friends. She didn't even know if they were just going to watch this movie "as friends" again this time. Her hearts sped up even faster as she thought about it even more. Was this some kind of way to ask her out on a "date"? But there was also still a chance that he just thought of them as friends still. Him asking her to watch a move just as "friends" seemed like the much more logical choice. Yes, she thought, just as friends. Nothing complicated. She exhaled to calm herself down. Just as friends. Nothing complicated. Just as friends. Nothing more. 

Her phone suddenly vibrated again. Looking down at the new message, her heart began to beat again,even faster than before.

> [1:45] Kanji Tatsumi: And, uh, maybe we could get something to eat later too?  
>  [1:45] Kanji Tatsumi: I mean, if you're not too busy with work or anything like that.

Reading the messages over and over, hear heart began to race faster and faster. Maybe it really was a "date"? Maybe they would go as something just at least a little more than friends? The more she thought about it, the faster her heart raced and the more noticeable her smile grew. 

> [1:46] Kanji Tatsumi: But, I mean, you totally don't have to if you don't want to.

Reading the message, Naoto realized that the entire time he had been sending her messages she had been silent. Hoping that he wasn't feeling awkward for asking, or even regretting it at all, she quickly typed out a reply. 

> [1:46] Naoto Shirogane: It's fine, Kanji. It's entirely fine.  
>  [1:47] Naoto Shirogane: I mean,  
>  [1:47] Naoto Shirogane: I'd, uh,  
>  [1:47] Naoto Shirogane: I'd like that.  
>  [1:47] Naoto Shirogane: A lot.

She waited for his reply.

> [1:48] Kanji Tastumi: Really?  
>  [1:48] Kanji Tastumi: Cool, I guess.

She couldn't help but feel her own smile grow as she read his reply. "Cool" wasn't exactly what she would have said in reply, but it was definitely something that Kanji himself would have said.

> [1:48] Kanji Tatsumi: Is tomorrow fine with you? Like some time in the afternoon or whatever.  
>  [1:49] Kanji Tatsumi: I'm not busy, so...  
>  [1:49] Naoto Shirogane: I think I should be free too.  
>  [1:49] Kanji Tatsumi: Alright then, tomorrow afternoon it is.  
>  [1:49] Kanji Tastumi: But hey, uh  
>  [1:50] Kanji Tatsumi: If something does come up at the station or whatever we could still reschedule  
>  [1:50] Kanji Tatsumi: I mean, if you want.  
>  [1:50] Naoto Shirogane: Of course.  
>  [1:50] Kanji Tatsumi: Cool.  
>  [1:50] Kanji Tatsumi: So, uh,  
>  [1:51] Kanji Tatsumi: Tomorrow afternoon?  
>  [1:51] Naoto Shirogane: Tomorrow afternoon.  
>  [1:51] Kanji Tatsumi: Cool.  
>  [1:51] Kanji Tatsumi: I mean, uh  
>  [1:51] Kanji Tatsumi: Great.  
>  [1:51] Kanji Tatsumi: Yeah, great.  
>  [1:52] Naoto Shirogane: I'll see you then.  
>  [1:52] Kanji Tatsumi: Yeah,  
>  [1:52] Kanji Tatsumi: See you then.

After the last message, Naoto puller her phone away from her face and stared up into the pitch black ceiling of her room. Her heart was still beating and she was still smiling and she wan't really thinking about anything other than spending time with him tomorrow. She didn't care if they were going "just as friends" or maybe something a little more. She didn't care if things were going to be complicated between the two or if he'd ever remember what had happened the previous night. She didn't care.

Just as long as she was with him, she thought. Just as long as she was with him and they were together and they were happy, and maybe even laughing, that would be good enough for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah shitty ending whatever// also, here's a song that i don't really know if it goes with this last part but i was listening to it while finishing this chapter and idk. i kinda thought it went pretty well with it. it's called "My Name" by Mélanie Pain. and, yeah, anyway, ty for reading. this is pretty much one of the first "longer" things that i've ever written and it actually kinda means a lot to me that some people actually stuck through my shit writing and, uh, yeah, thanks a bunch


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